The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Nowadays overweight is the most frequent problem seen among humans in different age groups.

Hence

there is a significant raise in overweight

people

which

further

imposes stress on medical authorises to work on the health

issues

developed

as a result

weight

gain

. Many

people

believe that

this

problem can be reduced by introducing physical

education

classes in schools.I agree that

exercise

in the school curriculum is one of the effective methods to minimize overweight

however

, it is not only a problem among

children

but it is even much more common among

adults

. In the essay, I will discuss the importance of physical activities among

adults

along with

children

Firstly

, initiating

exercise

and sports classes in

education

centres is a good choice since it helps

children

to be active and keeps them away from a sedentary lifestyle.These days most schools

as well as

parents concentrate on academic subjects as they play a crucial role in a child's future.

Due to

this

, kids habituate to

sit

Wrong verb form

sitting

show examples

for long hours.There are few or zero physical

education

lessons conducted in schools.

Thus

this

makes kids inactive and leads to

weight

gain

issues

Therefore

, introducing sports classes in knowledge centres is the best way to prevent overweight

issues

in future generations.

On the other hand

exercise

for elders is

also

equally important as

weight

gain

issues

are much more familiar in

adults

especially women and old age

people

compared to

children

.Obesity is the most common health issue among elder persons as few women

gain

weight

during pregnancy and it is

also

seen in retired

people

as they stay at home most of the time.So, it is crucial to raise awareness among

adults

on the importance of

exercise

and a few outdoor activities which

as a result

help them to balance

weight

and maintain a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, in the essay, I argued physical

education

lessons and their awareness have to be spread among both

children

and elder

people

in order to overcome health

issues

regarding

weight

gain

Submitted by meghanaalgubelli on Thu Feb 16 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, plastic bags are one the main sources of damage to the environment, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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