IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language
It is true that we are living in the globalization era, which means that we need international integration to develop a
country
. It leads to a contemporary society that offers to speak foreign languages more and more.
Nevertheless
, some people believe that living in a
country
 where you have to become fluent in
language
 can cause serious social issues
as well as
 practical issues. From my perspective, I don’t see eye to eye with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I’m going to explain fully about the details. On the one hand, helpfulness is what languages are all about. On account of
this
, we have a lot of benefits when we learn some foreign languages, among
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which is that we can expand our network or can communicate with the local residents more easily.
Hence
, it is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
evident to everyone
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to approach to new
language
. Nowadays, the general populace tends to work or live overseas, meaning that they must become proficient in a
language
.
Besides
, learning a native tongue means that being bilingual will open up a new world of travel opportunities.
For example
, speaking Chinese will allow you to travel around
this
country
 comfortably. In terms of people who have a job requiring them to know a different
language
besides
 the mother tongue, if you know that,
this
 will be a chance for you to get a better career. What is mentioned is that
language
 barriers lead to serious problems nowadays.
According to
 social issues, if we communicate with other residents improperly, it will result in misconceptions. What is more dangerous would be the misunderstanding among the general public that can result in unwanted arguments. In terms of practical problems, there is a volume of irreversible consequences for study life and home life.
For example
, overseas students face a
language
 barrier that makes them difficult to integrate during the learning process.
Besides
, in their life, they cannot contact local citizens, leading to the inability to learn the
neighborhood's
Change the spelling
neighbourhood's
show examples
 culture, more and more becoming increasingly withdrawn. In brief, it will become even less important to know the
language
 of the
country
 where you live,
although
 there is great potential for increased social unrest and heightened tensions in many parts of the world. What actually matters is the fact that people should consider carefully prior to learning new native tongues.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay provides detailed examples to support the main points, making the argument more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay effectively engages with the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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