IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Topic: Nowadays more and more people consume fast food on a regular basis. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#topic #people #food #basis #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present world, where everything is advanced to a better version of itself,
food
Use synonyms
 quality is one thing
that is
Linking Words
 severely degrading. Fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumption
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 increased by vast numbers in recent years.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend. On the one hand, fast
food
Use synonyms
 has helped the young generation, who move to different nations and cities for the purpose of career or education, vastly by saving their
time
Use synonyms
 and energy.
For instance
Linking Words
, the new generation usually doesn't know how to cook and when they relocate to a different place all by themself, it is hard for them to take
time
Use synonyms
for learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
 to cook and to actually cook their meals on a regular basis. Fast
food
Use synonyms
 helps them as it is cheap on the pocket and readily available.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is one of the reasons for health problems in the young generation.
Instead
Linking Words
 of having a healthy meal, millennials and younger generations prefer quick and easy meals.
For example
Linking Words
, even on holidays, when folks have enough
time
Use synonyms
 on their hands to prepare meals, they prefer ordering fast
food
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 has led to increasing problems of obesity in society. Fast
food
Use synonyms
 has helped make society lazy. Folks sitting at home, doing no activities still prefer ordering fast
food
Use synonyms
 over a healthy meal
Finally
Linking Words
, as discussed, fast
food
Use synonyms
 has helped the working class who live all by themselves to save
time
Use synonyms
 and energy, it has
also
Linking Words
 brought about many diseases
due to
Linking Words
 obesity,
due to
Linking Words
 the lazy mindset it has helped
developed
Change the form of the verb
develop
show examples
 in society.
Submitted by kunwar81145vats on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the advantages and disadvantages of fast food consumption. Make sure to provide specific examples for both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the development of ideas lacks clear organization and coherence. Use transition words to improve the overall structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Time-saving
  • Affordability
  • Variety
  • Economic boost
  • Job creation
  • Health issues
  • Obesity
  • Non-communicable diseases
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon footprint
  • Cultural degradation
  • Traditional cuisines
  • Overconsumption
  • Addictive ingredients
What to do next:
Look at other essays: