The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The flow chart shows how to manufacture
honey
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bees
. There are seven steps to make
honey
. It begins with building hives, collecting
nectar
from flowers, drying out the
nectar
, and eventually,
honey
is produced by
bees
.
Firstly
, the
bees
gather to build hives, a container of
honey
. It is usually built individually but connect to each other.
Next,
they would leave the nest and search for flowers since they need to collect
nectar
. And the next step,
bees
bring the sweet liquid from the fauna and place it into the hives. After the process of storage, the production progress begins.
Bees
use their wings to make evaporation to dry out the
honey
. Water can be exchanged by air. The
nectar
is cool down since
honey
needs to be formed.
Finally
, the
honey
is produced and ready to put
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
into jars.
That is
what the consumer is familiar with the look of
honey
.
Submitted by blair.chang975640 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bees, nectar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Metamorphosis
  • Nectar
  • Foraging
  • Pollination
  • Worker bees
  • House bees
  • Honey stomach
  • Honeycomb cells
  • Beeswax
  • Evaporation
  • Hexagon-shaped
  • Simple sugars
  • Enzymes
  • Capping
  • Preserve
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