some people think that success in the comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #success #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

The majority of people in society agree with the many viewpoints on how to succeed in life. Some of them consider

Add an article

the

show examples

hard effort and perseverance to be keys to

success

in life,

whereas

other opinions support that

success

also

depends on one's financial situation and

appearance

.Both opinions will be elaborated on in

this

statement before providing my own idea in the conclusion. It is apparent that achievement is influenced by hard work and resolve. The majority of individuals assume that the way to

success

is long,

thus

they think that acquiring the necessary skills and experience ought to take hard work.

Additionally

, the second crucial factor that individuals should possess in order to overcome complex hurdlings under any condition is determined.

According to

the statistic given by America's Best Large Employers list 85% of successful people worked extremely hard and with a strong will to succeed.

On the other hand

, money and attractiveness have

an essential roles

Correct the article-noun agreement

an essential role

essential roles

show examples

success

. Individuals that are successful in business should possess a lot of money to invest in commencing their own business.

Furthermore

, those who are extremely wealthy,

for instance

, have endless options to soar steadily in their careers.

In addition

, some jobs demand certain qualifications

such

as good looks.

For instance

, possessing an attractive and tidy

appearance

is important for various vocations: including hostess, receptionist, office manager, and pet.

According to

research people who maintain a nice

appearance

are more likely to be recruited and earn around 12% more money than those who don't. In conclusion, I believe that hard work and determination are the main factors for the best performance. Even though

success

is influenced by wealth and

appearance

Submitted by qubadbeylilahe on Fri Feb 17 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that success in the comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many people think that countries have a moral obligation to help each other, while others argue that aid money is misspent by the governments that receive it and therefore international aid should not be given to poor countries. Discuss these two points of view and give your opinion.

Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen , considering the significance of primary & secondary level education in a learner's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favouring more computer based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this?

People have to spend more and more time travelling from their homes for jobs and study. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?