some people think that success in the comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #success #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

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The majority of people in society agree with the many viewpoints on how to succeed in life. Some of them consider

Add an article

the

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hard effort and perseverance to be keys to

success

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in life,

whereas

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other opinions support that

success

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also

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depends on one's financial situation and

appearance

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.Both opinions will be elaborated on in

this

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statement before providing my own idea in the conclusion. It is apparent that achievement is influenced by hard work and resolve. The majority of individuals assume that the way to

success

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is long,

thus

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they think that acquiring the necessary skills and experience ought to take hard work.

Additionally

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, the second crucial factor that individuals should possess in order to overcome complex hurdlings under any condition is determined.

According to

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the statistic given by America's Best Large Employers list 85% of successful people worked extremely hard and with a strong will to succeed.

On the other hand

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, money and attractiveness have

an essential roles

Correct the article-noun agreement

an essential role

essential roles

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success

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. Individuals that are successful in business should possess a lot of money to invest in commencing their own business.

Furthermore

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, those who are extremely wealthy,

for instance

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, have endless options to soar steadily in their careers.

In addition

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, some jobs demand certain qualifications

such

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as good looks.

For instance

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, possessing an attractive and tidy

appearance

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is important for various vocations: including hostess, receptionist, office manager, and pet.

According to

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research people who maintain a nice

appearance

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are more likely to be recruited and earn around 12% more money than those who don't. In conclusion, I believe that hard work and determination are the main factors for the best performance. Even though

success

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is influenced by wealth and

appearance

Use synonyms

Submitted by qubadbeylilahe on Fri Feb 17 2023

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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some people think that success in the comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cultures,children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

people generally know that envoronment is important. however, most individuals do not take responsibilities to protect the environment. Why is this? what should be done to encourage people to protect the envioronment?