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Band 5

Shopping online is becoming much popular in todays world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

#todays #world #trend
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Due to
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rapid
Correct article usage
the rapid
show examples
 growth of technology. Business organizations Have switched over from the traditional
method
Use synonyms
 of selling to
electronic
Correct article usage
the electronic
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method
Use synonyms
due to
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 its popularity among
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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.In
this
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 essay, I will outline
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
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 and pros of online shopping. Start with advantages, a significant number of people prefer online shopping over
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
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 way of shopping
due to
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 three main reasons.
First,
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the convenience of online shopping in light
if
Correct your spelling
of
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fact
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the fact
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 that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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Add an article
the application
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application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
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 are friendly
use
Add the particle
to use
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 and efficient in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of time.
For example
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, Jahze is
online
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an online
the online
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 application for food it
deliver
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delivers
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order
Add an article
an order
the order
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 in 15 minutes.
Secondly
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, people have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to
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the compared
a compared
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compared
Wrong verb form
compare
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of price and quality
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
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traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
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method
Use synonyms
 which
be
Change the verb form
is
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 hard to visit all stores
phyiscaly
Correct your spelling
physically
physical
 and decide.
Finally
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, the availability of
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
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 would encourage people to purchase. Turning to the disadvantages, one of the
highly
Change the adverb
high
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 risk
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
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in
Change preposition
of
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 online shopping is
Frauds
Fix the agreement mistake
fraud
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 because the payment
method
Use synonyms
sometimes
Add a missing verb
is sometimes
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 not secured and Customers have to be careful in revealing their personal information.
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Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
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 some of the e-tailers are unreliable.
Moreover
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, the lack of experience in online
Use synonyms
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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.
For instance
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, once
time
Add an article
a time
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 I order drees from
famous
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the famous
a famous
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 application
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when I received
I
Correct pronoun usage
them I
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found out that the quality
not
Add a missing verb
was not
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 as shown in
pictures
Correct article usage
the pictures
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 and
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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even
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 size not as I request.
Although
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, the benefits of online
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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action should be promoted to improve the issue mention to gain the benefit of technology. In conclusion, the convenience, wide range of option in term of price and different part related to the product is
main
Add an article
the main
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 reason for
that
Change the word
its
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 popularity
while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fraud and lack of experience would
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
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 to be
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one issue when talking about online shopping.
Submitted by amoor.the on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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