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Writing Samples
Band 6

Young people are now spending more and more time and money following fashion trends. What is your opinion? Is this a postive or negative development?

#people #time #money #fashion #trends #postive #development
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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over whether current teenagers are spending most of their time and money
to follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
.
While
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this
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 phenomenon has both pros and cons, I think its advantages may outweigh its counterparts. Without a shadow of a doubt, pursuing novel styles brings about myriads of tremendous benefits. One of them is making adolescents less outdated
and
Correct word choice
so
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 they can express their status and wealth.
For example
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,
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
 on Tiktok, a practically famous social network utilized by almost all young
people
Use synonyms
 in the world, are globally followed by an eclectic mix of users. By doing so, those
people
Use synonyms
 can not only be more fashionable and advanced
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 show off their affluence.
Hence
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, following
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
 is beneficial to young
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays.
While
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 the redeeming features of
fashion
Use synonyms
 trend pursuit are widely acknowledged, its drawbacks still exist. On the grounds that garments can cause alarming environmental problems since they are
non- biodegradable
Correct your spelling
non-biodegradable
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 plastic wastes.
Therefore
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, the environment is totally contaminated.
For instance
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, prestigious
fashion
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 brands
such
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 as Gucci or Dior discharge a great deal of
this
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type
Change to a plural noun
types
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 of garbage on a daily basis, which greatly does harm to the surrounding.
Thus
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, the disadvantages of
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
 still happen.
To sum up
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,
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
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 are satisfactory because they can help
people
Use synonyms
 show their
statuses
Fix the agreement mistake
status
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 and keep up with the time.
However
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, it is hard to deny that they have a wide range of downsides given the fact that pieces of
garment
Add an article
a garment
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 are seriously damaging the ecosystem.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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