Young people are now spending more and more time and money following fashion trends. What is your opinion? Is this a postive or negative development?

#people #time #money #fashion #trends #postive #development

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over whether current teenagers are spending most of their time and money

to follow

Change the verb form

following

show examples

fashion

trends

While

this

phenomenon has both pros and cons, I think its advantages may outweigh its counterparts. Without a shadow of a doubt, pursuing novel styles brings about myriads of tremendous benefits. One of them is making adolescents less outdated

and

Correct word choice

show examples

they can express their status and wealth.

For example

fashion

trends

on Tiktok, a practically famous social network utilized by almost all young

people

in the world, are globally followed by an eclectic mix of users. By doing so, those

people

can not only be more fashionable and advanced

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

show off their affluence.

Hence

, following

fashion

trends

is beneficial to young

people

nowadays.

While

the redeeming features of

fashion

trend pursuit are widely acknowledged, its drawbacks still exist. On the grounds that garments can cause alarming environmental problems since they are

non- biodegradable

Correct your spelling

non-biodegradable

show examples

plastic wastes.

Therefore

, the environment is totally contaminated.

For instance

, prestigious

fashion

brands

such

as Gucci or Dior discharge a great deal of

this

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

of garbage on a daily basis, which greatly does harm to the surrounding.

Thus

, the disadvantages of

fashion

trends

still happen.

To sum up

fashion

trends

are satisfactory because they can help

people

show their

statuses

Fix the agreement mistake

status

show examples

and keep up with the time.

However

, it is hard to deny that they have a wide range of downsides given the fact that pieces of

garment

Add an article

a garment

show examples

are seriously damaging the ecosystem.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Fri Feb 17 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people are now spending more and more time and money following fashion trends. What is your opinion? Is this a postive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year.Some people argued that the money should spent on improving living standards on Earth.Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the population of older people is steadily in creasing. Dose this trend have positive or negative effects on society?