IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are having problems with a neighbour’s animals because the fence between your properties is old and In poor repair. You want the neighbour to pay half the cost of building a new fence. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter • say what the problems are • explain how a new fence will solve the problems • suggest that the neighbour pays half of the cost You do NOT need to write any addresses.

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Dear Mcdonaman, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my concerns about the
fence
Use synonyms
 that
split
Correct subject-verb agreement
splits
show examples
 our gardens. The
fence
Use synonyms
 we share is broken and needs to be repaired. Because of
this
Linking Words
, your animals often enter my garden without my permission, and they eat and damage my plants and trees.
In addition
Linking Words
, they broke my barbecue
last
Linking Words
 week
while
Linking Words
 my friends were visiting,
as a result
Linking Words
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 I have to
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
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 a new barbecue. I tried to fix the
fence
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it requires
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional maintenance. Considering
this
Linking Words
 situation, in order to secure my garden and host my guests, the repair is essential. Since the
fence
Use synonyms
 is shared between our properties, I kindly request that we split the cost of the repair, which might cost around $200. Alternatively, I would really appreciate it if you could try to fix the
fence
Use synonyms
 or train your animals not to enter my garden. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to your response. Best regards, Ibrahim

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task response
Say more clearly that you want a new fence, not only a repair. Ask your neighbour to pay half of the cost of the new fence.
task response
Do not add the idea of training the animals. It may make your main request less clear. Keep the letter about the new fence and the shared cost.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a good order. Use simple linking words such as "Also", "Because of this", and "Therefore" to join ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The second paragraph has many ideas. Put the problem with the animals in one part and the broken barbecue in another part, so it is easier to read.
task response
You explain the main problems well: the animals enter your garden, harm your plants, and break your barbecue.
task response
You give a clear cost and ask to share it. This answers an important part of the task.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. It is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite and fit a letter to a neighbour.
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