In many countries, more and more women have full-time jobs as men. There is a logic that they should share the housework equally with men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We are living in the salad days of the
milliennium
Correct your spelling
millennium
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life can be very taxing. It is irrefutable that to sustain in
this
fast pacing economic world, more and more
women
are taking up full-time jobs.
Due to
this
reason, it is
congent
Correct your spelling
content
cogent
that men should equally share the household work. I completely agree with the aforementioned statement.
This
essay delves into the reasons for the agreement. To commence with the statement of agreement, there is a myriad of things that needs to be shared in its favour. Primarily, equitable sharing of household
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
between men and
women
reduces the burden on
women
and thereby stress. Increased stress and hormonal imbalance can lead to depression and suicidal
tendecies
Correct your spelling
tendencies
.
This
can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
intersectional feminism and is often ignored by the community
due to
the persistence of social
tabo
Correct your spelling
taboo
taboos
.
For instance
, recent research conducted in India discovered that the causative factors for
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
rate of depression and associated suicide are the social
tabo
Correct your spelling
taboos
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and surging stress in
women
.
Additionally
,
women
are emotional
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
and sharing the work gives them a sense of being loved and respected in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. Shifting towards the second school of thought, getting
an extra hands
Correct the article-noun agreement
extra hands
an extra hand
show examples
in chores
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
the time for family bonding, which in turn
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
paramount for the wellbeing of the kids in the family.
Further
,
this
reduces the crime rate and drug use rate by building up sensible citizens.
For example
, one of the social determinants of health that
detemine
Correct your spelling
determine
determines
the health behaviour of young adults is the family situation. To elaborate
further
, the domestic conditions surrounding the kids determine
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their social and health behaviour and
consequently
they affect the quality of the social life of the community. To put it in a
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
show examples
, I pen down saying that everyone in the household
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to share the burden of the chores. The
prejuice
Correct your spelling
prejudice
surrounding
women
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
house maker needs to change, as
women
contribute equally in all the
secotrs
Correct your spelling
sectors
in
this
contemporary world.
Submitted by dtifaniya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: