IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions
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There are two charts that demonstrate the
houshold
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household
energy
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use
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 and the
greenhouse
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gas
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 emissions in Australia at the same time which
energy
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use
Use synonyms
 chart leads to
greenhouse
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gas
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. Generally, there are five categories for household
energy
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 consumption that there are heating and cooling,
waterheating
Correct your spelling
water heating
, refrigeration, lighting and other appliances. among them the most consumption of
energy
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use
Use synonyms
 is in
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 category (heating and cooling).
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 category
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
greenhouse
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 gases. About 74% of
energy
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 uses include heating and cooling and water heating that water heating
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
of
gas
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 emissions.
Although
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 ratio for cooling and heating is about under 20%. For two other categories that
use
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energy
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, refrigeration and lighting, they
use
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 less than 10% for each of them. But, they produce double
greenhouse
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 gases 14% and 8% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 ratio is included for other
applances
Correct your spelling
appliances
 that 15%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 it but 28% produce
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shahab_e2020 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, use, greenhouse, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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