Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech) .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #time #fashion #trends #tech

Currently, younger generations are more focused on modern fashion styles and electronic gadgets and these have consumed most of their time and finances. I completely agree with

this

essay for two viable reasons they are highly influenced by their famous celebrities and the impression they want to create among their peers.

Firstly

, the wealth and possessions of some renowned celebrities whom teenagers have considered as their role models have negatively influenced their lifestyles. To

this

, they want to mimic

such

taste with their whole earnings irrespective of the repercussions.

For instance

, my aunt's son who is fond of Davido, a famous artist in Nigeria, has spent a huge time keeping up with the dressings and accessories of the artist and even goes as far as purchasing those things for himself too.

Secondly

, the issue of creating an impressive image of oneself amongst friends has led youths

in surfing

Change preposition

to surf

show examples

the internet for the latest

trend

Fix the agreement mistake

trends

show examples

this

could flag them to a higher status and even gain them more fans on social media.

For example

, my friend always likes to buy the latest iPhone so she

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

showcase her wealth to her friends, meanwhile,

this

could be her only pocket money. In conclusion, it is certain that teenagers waste their precious time and resources with the recent trends in fashion.

In addition

, I completely concur that the status of their famous models and peer pressures could be the motives. As

this

could result in negative effects on teenagers,

thus

Rephrase

apply

show examples

I could suggest that guardians and parents should protect and lead them rightly.

Submitted by mh.nkanta on Sat Feb 18 2023

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-expression
peer pressure
social media influence
financial stability
fast fashion
consumerism
social validation
fear of missing out (FOMO)
cultural shifts
marketing strategies
environmental sustainability
thrift shopping
do-it-yourself (DIY)
economic impact
sustainable practices
upcycling

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Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech) .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children watch on TV influences their behavior. Some say it is the amount of time watching television that influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that only a few wild animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your opinion.