IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In our daily life
communication
Punctuation problem
, communication
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 via
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is a common thing. We chat with our
friends
Use synonyms
 and relatives, share our happy and sad moments. Sometimes we even argue with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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strangers online. Popular social
media
Use synonyms
 is a golden standard of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online communication.
For
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 "Threads" and "Instagram" are mostly for the communication and sharing of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thoughts. A
lot
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 of
people
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 post photos/videos/music on these socials. From my experience, a
lot
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 make
friends
Use synonyms
 nowadays via social
media
Use synonyms
. Even my
friends
Use synonyms
 made a
long lasting
Use the right word
long-lasting
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 bond via socials and got married.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one side of the coin. A
lot
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 of
people
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 are
desparate
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desperate
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention.
For example
Linking Words
, in Japan there are a
lot
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 of deeply
lonenly peoply
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lonely people
, even
Japan
Correct word choice
though Japan
show examples
 has a high
dencety
Correct your spelling
density
 of the population. So many
people
Use synonyms
 are scared of the
judgement
Use the right word
judgment
show examples
, so they do not even go outside of their houses.
This
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 makes a huge problem, because
this
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 "trend" comes to our
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
. Many
people
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 are even dismissing their relatives and closest
people
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, because of the social
media
Use synonyms
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
. Social
media
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propagands
Correct your spelling
propagates
 a certain lifestyle, and in case you don't match it, the socials may send you
out of
Change preposition
off
show examples
 the boat.
This
Linking Words
 is a huge problem, since the main role of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 is to make new
friends
Use synonyms
 and connections all over the globe. But there should be a place for good things. A
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 share their experience in therapy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
bacomes
Correct your spelling
becomes
 a golden standard that you should check your mental health. I see
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
a good trend, where
people
Use synonyms
 suggest to dismiss a social
media
Use synonyms
 opinion, and live your life the way you like it. When you are not scared of thoughts from outside, you become a happy and
mentaly
Correct your spelling
mentally
 healthy human. It is very important to
filter
Use synonyms
 what you see on
socail
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
 and what
people
Use synonyms
 you trust, speak
, and
Change preposition
with, and
show examples
 make
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
 with. Social
media
Use synonyms
 became a part of our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, but we must make sure that we
filter
Use synonyms
 and check what we consume. Nowadays it is easier to make
friends
Use synonyms
 online, but we need to double-check the
persone
Correct your spelling
person
 we make
bond
Correct article usage
a bond
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 with from the other side of
screen
Correct article usage
the screen
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. So
people
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 can become
mentaly
Correct your spelling
mentally
 ill and face bad consequences.
However
Linking Words
, if you
filter
Use synonyms
 your social
media
Use synonyms
 and online connections, you will get new
friends
Use synonyms
 all over the globe.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is easier to stay in touch with
friends
Use synonyms
 and relatives
,
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apply
show examples
 who are abroad. Social
media
Use synonyms
 has two sides
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is very important to
filter
Use synonyms
 both.

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task response
Be sure to choose a clear view on the topic and state it in the first paragraph. Your essay should not say you both agree and disagree at the start; pick one side and show why.
task response
Explain your view with reasons. Use examples to support each point. Link words can show the flow of ideas.
coherence
Make your essay easier to follow. Have an intro with a thesis, 2 or 3 body paragraphs each with a main idea, and a short conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Use simple links to guide the reader. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and finish with a short tie-back.
content
You use real examples like Threads and Instagram to show online talk
balance
You talk about both good and bad sides, which fits the task
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • geographical gaps
  • interact
  • social media platforms
  • messaging apps
  • revolutionized
  • physical distance
  • online communities
  • camaraderie
  • immediate surroundings
  • unparalleled opportunities
  • superficial relationships
  • excessive reliance
  • emotional warmth
  • tactile comfort
  • digital communication
  • digital divide
  • internet censorship
  • global connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: