some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #responsibility #money #care

It is an irrefutable fact that saving wages is the responsibility of all individuals to take care of themselves after they retire. I do strongly agree with

this

statement. I will conclude with the main reasons behind

this

practice in order to save money for their future

Change preposition

show examples

the end. To being with, the main reason is people must be responsible to save not only capital but

also

endeavour to deposit adequate properties after their official retirement indeed.

For instance

, the Hindu published an article, which revealed that 60 per cent of the crowd who are staying in developed nations are depending upon savings which were saved before their retirement.

In addition

, another reason is the stored deposits will boost the confidence of individuals.

Therefore

, they can live the rest of their life without any issues. Continue , It is the responsibility of both the local government and some national agencies must encourage communities to save salaries for their own care once they evacuate because

this

additional amount will be very useful.

For example

, The Suntimes published that the USA is accountable for their citizen's responsibilities after their withdrawal through many schemes and policies which were used to store property of their own in fact. So, these policies and welfare schemes will be not only aided for individuals' health but

also

feel them to live happily until the end of their life. To summarize, after a thorough discussion of the above ,points it is an undeniable truth that everyone must care for their own after they retire because in order to take concern of themselves throughout their life till the end.

Submitted by ravikrishna045 on Sat Feb 18 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

271 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.