In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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In some countries, it is
better
Add an article
a better
the better

The noun phrase better way seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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way to purchase a household rather than renting one is very essential for
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I believe that owning a place to live in is
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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one of the vital
part
Change to a plural noun
parts

The singular countable noun part follows the quantifier the one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of life.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, buying a property is a good way to
investment
Replace the word
invest

The word investment doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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research done at the Seoul National University in Korea, 30% of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who bought a house since 2002 earned 15% of the profits in 2012.
Due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the fact that the government provide several opportunities and options for
poeple
Correct your spelling
people

If you don’t want poeple to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to buy
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
loan
Add an article
a loan

The noun phrase loan seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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or
apratment
Correct your spelling
apartment

If you don’t want apratment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

application.
Due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

paid 3% of
loan
Add an article
the loan

The noun phrase loan seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to
purachase
Correct your spelling
purchase

If you don’t want purachase to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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home, It becomes
thier
Correct your spelling
their

If you don’t want thier to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

asset in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, renting
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

make
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have various stressful situation to live
.
Change preposition
in.

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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For
instace
Correct your spelling
instance

If you don’t want instace to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, if the policy or
enconmy
Correct your spelling
economy

If you don’t want enconmy to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

has changed, it would affect
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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rental fees.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in recent days, the rental fee is increasing annually.
People
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to worry about the budget and if it is not fit, they consider finding another house to move in. These unpredictable situations make
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

get stressed
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

anxiety
Replace the word
anxious

The word anxiety doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. In conclusion, in many countries ,it is more essential to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
owning
Change the form of the verb
own

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb owning. Consider changing it.

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a house rather than renting one.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, investing property usually get profits
compare
Wrong verb form
compared

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb compare. Consider changing it.

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to renting
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

get anxious when they hardly afford to pay increasing rental
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees

It seems that fee may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. I believe no matter which
Correct your spelling
country

If you don’t want coutry to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

coutry
Correct your spelling
country

If you don’t want coutry to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
ownig
Correct your spelling
owning
owned

If you don’t want ownig to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are more worth
to live
Change the verb form
living

To live doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
in

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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