IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal on public places. Other people say that this is not enough and other measures are needed. Discuss both views and give tour own opinion.

#people #places #measures #tour
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Smoking has become a controversial topic in the present, because of its negative impacts.
However
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, some individuals think that
people
Use synonyms
 can be discouraged by making smoking illegal in public areas,
whereas
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 others believe it is not enough. In my opinion, extra measures should be taken to discourage smoking.
This
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 essay is to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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both views and personal
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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.
To begin
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 with, smoking generates an increasing number of drawbacks to consumers and their surroundings.
In other words
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, smoking affects
people
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 actively
as well as
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 passively. In most countries smoking in public is prohibited to reduce passive effects
to
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on
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non-smoking
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the non-smoking
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community
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communities
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, especially pregnant mothers, children and patients. For an instance, if someone
caught
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is caught
show examples
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while
Correct word choice
apply
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consuming a
cigarette
Use synonyms
 in a public place in Australia, they will be arrested and charged with serious punishments. In fact,
this
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 approach supports
to reduce
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reducing
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 the usage of
Use synonyms
cigarette
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cigarettes
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 in public.
However
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, it is insufficient as
people
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 can smoke in their houses,private officers etc.In order
reduce
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to reduce
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this
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 usage there should be more actions
such
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 as
increase
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an increase
the increase
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 in tax on cigarettes,
display
Correct word choice
and display
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 consequences of smoking on packages. In terms of taxes, the UK introduced
large
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a large
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tax
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taxes
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 on tobacco products and
as a result
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 sales of these products dropped significantly.
On the other hand
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, publishing images on
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a carton
the carton
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carton
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cartons
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 of
Use synonyms
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 a good solution.
For example
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, a famous university in Sri Lanka did
a
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apply
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research on advertising negative results of
Use synonyms
cigarette
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cigarettes
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 on its packages
,
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apply
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 and found out
this
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 supported to drop
sales
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in sales
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 within
couple
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a couple
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 of months.
To conclude
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 as responsible citizens we should take
actions
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action
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 to discourage
people
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 from smoking.
This
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 cannot be done only by making laws for smoking in public places. Governments should take every possible
measures
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measure
show examples
 to mitigate
this
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 problem immediately.
Submitted by dmdeemanthakasun on

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