IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal on public places. Other people say that this is not enough and other measures are needed. Discuss both views and give tour own opinion.

#people #places #measures #tour
Smoking has become a controversial topic in the present, because of its negative impacts.
However
, some individuals think that
people
 can be discouraged by making smoking illegal in public areas,
whereas
 others believe it is not enough. In my opinion, extra measures should be taken to discourage smoking.
This
 essay is to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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both views and personal
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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.
To begin
 with, smoking generates an increasing number of drawbacks to consumers and their surroundings.
In other words
, smoking affects
people
 actively
as well as
 passively. In most countries smoking in public is prohibited to reduce passive effects
to
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on
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non-smoking
Add an article
the non-smoking
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community
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communities
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, especially pregnant mothers, children and patients. For an instance, if someone
caught
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is caught
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while
Correct word choice
apply
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consuming a
cigarette
 in a public place in Australia, they will be arrested and charged with serious punishments. In fact,
this
 approach supports
to reduce
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reducing
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 the usage of
cigarette
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cigarettes
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 in public.
However
, it is insufficient as
people
 can smoke in their houses,private officers etc.In order
reduce
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to reduce
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this
 usage there should be more actions
such
 as
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
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 in tax on cigarettes,
display
Correct word choice
and display
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 consequences of smoking on packages. In terms of taxes, the UK introduced
large
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a large
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tax
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taxes
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 on tobacco products and
as a result
 sales of these products dropped significantly.
On the other hand
, publishing images on
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a carton
the carton
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carton
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cartons
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 of
cigarette
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cigarettes
show examples
also
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is also
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 a good solution.
For example
, a famous university in Sri Lanka did
a
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apply
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research on advertising negative results of
cigarette
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cigarettes
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 on its packages
,
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apply
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 and found out
this
 supported to drop
sales
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in sales
show examples
 within
couple
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a couple
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 of months.
To conclude
 as responsible citizens we should take
actions
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action
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 to discourage
people
 from smoking.
This
 cannot be done only by making laws for smoking in public places. Governments should take every possible
measures
Change to a singular noun
measure
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 to mitigate
this
 problem immediately.
Submitted by dmdeemanthakasun on

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