IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The use of fossil fuels such as oil, gas and coal is increasing. What are the effects of this on the environment ? What can governments and individuals do to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels?

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As society evolves, the
use
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 of fossil fuels has become an increasingly urgent concern.
This
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 essay will examine the primary causes of the effects of
this
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 on the environment and propose feasible strategies to tackle the issue effectively. One of the principal drivers of individuals plays a role in addressing environmental issues.
This
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 can be attributed to the fact that avoiding using disposable utensils for take - away boxes.
For instance
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, avoiding using plastic bags minimises serious effects on our soil, oceans, and marine life, leading to the minimisation of fossil fuels and addressing pollution emissions.
Moreover
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, it turns off unnecessary
energy
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 whenever possible. Another compelling factor is that each person can
use
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 bicycles
instead
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 of motor vehicles and doesn’t waste fuel.
This
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 stems from the fact that planting trees is one of the most direct contributions, as trees provide food and Oxygen.
Therefore
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, helping save
energy
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, clean the air, and combat climate change.
This
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 not only reduces the problem but
also
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 opens the door to promoting cultural awareness and global understanding. To address
this
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 growing issue, governments must implement strategic decentralisation policies. Organisations play a central and irreplaceable role in environmental protection. It is recommended that
this
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 approach be prioritised because it sets and enforces laws with the ultimate goals of preventing damage and promoting sustainability. Practical suggestions are to provide tax breaks and subsidies or grants, which can encourage businesses to adopt eco - friendly practices. It would be highly beneficial to adopt
this
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 strategy because it encourages industries to
use
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 renewable
energy
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, long - term environmental benefits. In conclusion, the
use
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 of fossil fuels has an effect on the environment.
While
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 using disposable utensils and planting trees are identified as the key driving factors. Enforcing laws and promoting renewable
energy
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 represent meaningful and actionable steps that can help mitigate
this
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 challenge significantly

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task response
Answer both questions more clearly: effects on the environment, and what governments and people can do.
task response
Use ideas that match fossil fuel use. Some points about plastic and culture do not fit the question well.
task response
Explain each main idea more. Show how fossil fuels cause air pollution, global warming, and damage to nature.
task response
Give clearer examples, such as public transport, clean energy, better home insulation, or higher tax on fuel.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clearer. Start each body paragraph with one direct main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple and direct way. Some sentences do not connect well to the main point.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeated or unclear phrases. Keep each sentence focused on one idea.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to discuss both government action and individual action.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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