The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003 to 2012

#changes #place #three #areas #crime #port #city #center

The line graph provides the differences that took place in three different categories of crime (burglary,

car

theft

, and robbery (

theft

from the person)) in New Port city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

between 2003 and 2012.

It is clear that

car

theft

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and robbery trends

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

similarly

fluctuated

while

burglary saw

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

drop

. First of all,

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of incidents of

car

theft

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

around 2700 between 2003 and 2005, before it

drop

to exactly 2000 in 2006. After that,

car

theft

gradually increased to reach 2700 again in 2012.

Similarly

, robbery was 500 in 2003

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and grew by almost 400 to reach 900 in 2005, before it

drop

to 500 by 2008. Since

then

, it fluctuated between 750 in 2010 and 600 in 2011 before

Add an article

the rise

a rise

show examples

rise

Change the verb form

rising

show examples

to 750 in 2012.

On the other hand

, burglary increased to around 4000 in 2004, which was 3400 in 2003. Since

then

, it saw

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

drop

of 2500 to reach 1200 in 2800, before it showed

slight

Add an article

a slight

show examples

increase of 200 to 1400 in 2009. Between 2009 and 2012,

it’s

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

number was

similarly

at 1400.

Submitted by ganorgil0927 on Sun Feb 19 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words car, theft, drop with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003 to 2012

The illustrations below show how chocolate is produced

Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this trend need to be changed?