Currently, some countries' populations include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In the current world, the
population
of the earth has been increasing recently, and the ageing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population
rates are different all around the world.
Therefore
,
this
essay will discuss both views, and I believe that the disadvantages of
this
circumstance outweigh the advantages. One of the benefits of having young
people
more than the elderly is adaptation
fastly
Rephrase
fast
show examples
. Today, young
people
can adapt faster than older
people
, especially in changing habits.
Therefore
, if governments want to change any policies, the
community
can adapt, and they can apply them easily.
For instance
, making laws about pollution.
People
have to separate their trash into three groups which are organic plastic and electronic.
This
rule can be used easily by the young generation, and they can change the old
people
's opinions.
Secondly
,
countries
need workers, especially in work which needs power,
such
as construction or agricultural work. In
this
way, governments do not need to immigrate; their
community
is enough so
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
of organisation will not break.
In contrast
to having young
community
benefits, when we look at the developed
countries
' populations data, their
population
of elderly is more than youth like Germany, USA, England etc. In
this
way, having a young
population
is a barrier to having a strong economy.
Additionally
, having a young
population
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
that
countries
' health
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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not good compared to others because if the elderly can not live longer, governments do not have good medical
service
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services
show examples
. In
this
way, the young
population
's drawbacks outweigh the advantages.
To sum up
everything that has been stated so far, having a young
population
has both
pons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
and cons. On the one hand, it reduces the immigration level which
countries
need human power, and adaptation is very fast.
On the other hand
, it is a drawback of having a powerful economy, and the health sector
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not develop enough. I believe that the advantages of
this
situation do not outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on

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task response
Task Response: You need to provide a more balanced approach by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages equally. The essay is currently skewed towards the disadvantages, so make sure to present both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas, and the introduction and conclusion need further development. Work on presenting a clear and organized structure throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively and provide a more balanced ending to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographic dividend
  • Dependency ratio
  • Workforce
  • Innovation
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Productivity
  • Social services
  • Pension funds
  • Cultural dynamism
  • Brain drain
  • Urbanization
  • Infrastructural challenges
  • Inter-generational equity
  • Socio-economic
  • Fiscal sustainability
  • Ageing population
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