Currently, some countries' populations include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the current world, the
population
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of the earth has been increasing recently, and the ageing
of
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apply
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population
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rates are different all around the world.
Therefore
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,
this
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essay will discuss both views, and I believe that the disadvantages of
this
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circumstance outweigh the advantages. One of the benefits of having young
people
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more than the elderly is adaptation
fastly
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fast
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. Today, young
people
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can adapt faster than older
people
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, especially in changing habits.
Therefore
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, if governments want to change any policies, the
community
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can adapt, and they can apply them easily.
For instance
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, making laws about pollution.
People
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have to separate their trash into three groups which are organic plastic and electronic.
This
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rule can be used easily by the young generation, and they can change the old
people
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's opinions.
Secondly
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,
countries
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need workers, especially in work which needs power,
such
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as construction or agricultural work. In
this
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way, governments do not need to immigrate; their
community
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is enough so
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community
Correct article usage
the community
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of organisation will not break.
In contrast
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to having young
community
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benefits, when we look at the developed
countries
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' populations data, their
population
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of elderly is more than youth like Germany, USA, England etc. In
this
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way, having a young
population
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is a barrier to having a strong economy.
Additionally
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, having a young
population
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show
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shows
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that
countries
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' health
service
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services
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is
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are
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not good compared to others because if the elderly can not live longer, governments do not have good medical
service
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services
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. In
this
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way, the young
population
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's drawbacks outweigh the advantages.
To sum up
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everything that has been stated so far, having a young
population
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has both
pons
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pros
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and cons. On the one hand, it reduces the immigration level which
countries
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need human power, and adaptation is very fast.
On the other hand
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, it is a drawback of having a powerful economy, and the health sector
do
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does
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not develop enough. I believe that the advantages of
this
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situation do not outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on

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task response
Task Response: You need to provide a more balanced approach by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages equally. The essay is currently skewed towards the disadvantages, so make sure to present both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas, and the introduction and conclusion need further development. Work on presenting a clear and organized structure throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively and provide a more balanced ending to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographic dividend
  • Dependency ratio
  • Workforce
  • Innovation
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Productivity
  • Social services
  • Pension funds
  • Cultural dynamism
  • Brain drain
  • Urbanization
  • Infrastructural challenges
  • Inter-generational equity
  • Socio-economic
  • Fiscal sustainability
  • Ageing population
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