Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #individuals #societies #levels #achievement #merits #relationship #equality #success

In recent days, it is undoubtedly true that personal

merits

and

equality

have been made the standard of

success

. A group of

people

support the notion that personal

success

is more important in developing one’s career,

however

, some of them reject

this

opinion. Given

this

situation

it is clear that

both perspectives are good, but I personally believe that personal

success

will be more significant than enacted

equality

. To start with,

equality

can bind the positive relationships between others. Surrounded by a homogenous

society

people

who live in an egalitarian can feel that they are in the same condition and they should help each other.

Consequently

, positive bounding between each other can appear in

this

situation

For instance

, if

equality

in some offices has been enacted by the companies, social jealousy will never come up. Because of

this

situation

, there will be no competition between the workers and make their relationship will be more harmonic.

On the other hand

, personal

merits

may lead someone to be more independent. Forced to deal with some problems,

people

who live in the highly-value-personal

merits

society

may be familiar with some difficult situations.

Then

, they can learn from their own mistakes and get more independent as time goes on.

Thus

, prioritizing personal merit may lead to the independence of

people

. In my perspective, another positive reason why personal

success

is essential is to enlarge the variety of fields that

society

can handle. Being born with different innate skills,

people

can master

this

aptitude and use it in

society

. Unlike living

equality

, they can express their ability and make a

society

full of

people

who have different skills. All in all,

although

equality

supports the harmonic relationship between

people

, the value of personal

merits

might be a more significant impact

such

as reducing the reliance on others and increasing the various expert in

society

. Regarding

this

situation

, I suggest that the environment should take real action to enact rules that support personal

merits

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Feb 19 2023

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. What problems do it creates? How could this situation be improved?

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Some people say free time activities for children should be organised by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion