IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some young people are leaving the country side to lives in cities and towns,leaving only old people in the country side. What problems are caused by this issue. What can be done to solve this issue

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Humans have always migrated to different places in search of better opportunities. But, in the
last
Linking Words
 few
decades
Add a comma
,decades
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human's
Change noun form
human
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 migration is being increased. In that case today I will discuss the Solution and how can I government help young people. One of the main reasons is universities and finding new opportunities.
According to
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 most ,students it's hard to find places to Continue their studies.
In addition
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, in rural ,areas you can only see Basic things,
such
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 as schools supermarket hospital.
Hence
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, They
move
Use synonyms
 to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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crowded areas that have everything they need.
Secondly
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 living after the person turns
as
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apply
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an adult they want to live on their own. But, why because in their town they can't find apartments or homes and it's hard to find one so, that's why they
move
Use synonyms
 on.
Lastly
Linking Words
 jobs it's hard for youngsters to find
their
Change the pronoun
them
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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ideal place to work
in
Change preposition
apply
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or the department they want
as a result
Linking Words
 they
move
Use synonyms
 to another city and find better opportunities. So how can the government fix the problem by building new universities
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 If the government built a new place to study more students will stay in their hometowns. Next is building more services as follows : health care shopping mall and apartments. Another possibility would be is trying to encourage entrepreneurs to
move
Use synonyms
 to
this
Linking Words
 town, as it would encourage young people to work in.
To conclude
Linking Words
, human migration is a huge problem faced by many countries, but some of them are actively trying to fix it. Hopefully, by the next generation, we will see a more evenly distributed population density and wealth.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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