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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the percentage of New Zealand population from 1950 to 2050

#line #percentage #zealand #population
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the graph shows the percentage of 4 different
age
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groups
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 in the total population of New Zealand from 1950
tp
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to
show examples
 2050 .
overall
Linking Words
 ,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of people from 25 to 37 is predicted to be on the decrease , the opposite was seen in other
groups
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 in 1950 , over 60 % of new
zealand ‘s
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Zealand's
show examples
 population were aged 60 or older , being the predominant
age
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 group,
while
Linking Words
 the percentages of those aged 25-37 and 38-45 were similar , the people living in new zealand were 14
yeas
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years
show examples
 old or younger is only 5% . the next 50 years, the most senior
age
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 group still remind as the
lagerst
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largest
 group , there were more 38to 45 years
olds
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old
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 figure of 40% . meanwhile , the data of
two
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the two
show examples
youggest
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biggest
groups
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 were equal at
one tenth
Add a hyphen
one-tenth
show examples
. by 2050 , estimations
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reveal
reval
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reveal
 that there
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will
wil
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will
 be fewer people aged over 65 years old , at roughly 55% ,
while
Linking Words
 the data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those from 38 to 45 is expected to
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remain
ramain
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remain
 unchanged ,
while
Linking Words
 it is forecasted that there will be almost no one in the 25-37
age
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groups
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 , drastic increase to a fifth is foreseen in the proportion of those aged 14 or younger
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuating trends
  • Projections
  • Percentage
  • Demographic changes
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Stable
  • Increase/Decrease
  • Growth/Decline
  • Patterns
  • Historical context
  • Population dynamics
  • Trends
  • Significant shifts
  • Peaks and troughs
  • Forecasts
  • Projections
  • Analysis
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