IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Sports programmes are hugely popular on television nowadays. But some people argue that these programmes are to blame for the poor health of many young people who prefer to watch rather than part take in physical activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sports #programmes #television #people #health #part #activity
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Nowadays, people still watch
a
Correct article usage
apply
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sports
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 on
TV
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, or on another device which can display a picture of the game. So
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
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 part of viewers is
adults
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 who came tired from their work and want to relax,
therefore
Linking Words
 switch on the electricity and sit on the sofa for a new soccer
programme
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. Each country has an audience of fans who watch every
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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programme
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 everywhere, exactly most of them doesn'
t
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 want to become soccer player. But look more closely at the audience in some countries most part of it built from young people who just spend the whole day sitting around the television, and want to do nothing in their life, because
programmes
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 give a huge amount of emotions Most of the young audience have parents who really care about their
children's
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children
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,
thus
Linking Words
 why they try to add additional
sports
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 sections in school or in college, because some of them don'
t
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 want to do something for their health, and that obviously reminds adolescence and how they are isn'
t
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towant
Correct your spelling
want
 go to the gym. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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 that's true. ,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 we still have a person who can be a fan of some
sports
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Use synonyms
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
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 and still take part in physical activity, so that's important for them too like watching some championed on
TV
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.
In
Change preposition
Overall
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overall
Linking Words
adults
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 who spend some time in
a sport
Correct the article-noun agreement
a sport programme
sport programmes
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programmes
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 sometimes with
adults
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 but some of them want to be in
these
Change the determiner
this programme
these programmes
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programme
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. After most
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adults
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doesn'
Change the verb form
don't
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t
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 want to include sport in their lives preferring
TV
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 as well. In ,future we will see
Add an article
a
the
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nice
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 who came
soccer
Fix the infinitive
to soccer
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, tennis or basketball players because they are watching
sports
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 on
TV
Use synonyms
!
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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