The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society

In recent times, many

people

have a tendency to use social media, which could cause a negative effect on their

face to face

Add a hyphen

face-to-face

show examples

interaction

Fix the agreement mistake

interactions

show examples

among them. From my perspective, the merits of

this

trend exceed the drawbacks. In

this

essay, there will be reasons for

this

. In terms of the disadvantages, some

people

claimed that social platforms cause a bad impact on

people’s

communication

skills

. Specifically, some

people

are really into video games or

smartphones’

Change noun form

smartphones

show examples

screens

while

eating dinner with their family without paying attention to

people

As a result

people’s

literacy

skills

or verbal

skills

could be impractical. Some

also

say that the Internet has a pessimistic influence on

people’s

mental health.

According to

research by Harvard university, research has shown that it can increase feelings of depression and anxiety if a person spends too much time on websites

such

as Youtube, Netflix or Twitter. In conclusion,

people’s

emotions could easily be put in a bad mood . Regarding the positive sides, it is true that

people

can keep in touch together. To be more specific, students studying abroad are able to make video calls with their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

by using some applications

such

as Messenger, Whatsapp or Snapchat.

Then

people

can expand their relationships on the Internet.

Hence

, their friend circle interactions would widen.

Furthermore

, I believe that social media devices are

such

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

a powerful tool in marketing and business. In more

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

, the customer could be served by artificial intelligence.

For example

, in some steakhouses in Korea, buyers are served by

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

friendly robots.

As a result

, buyers are really fond of the service and these restaurants could be full of customers.

To sum up

, the merits are more significant.

Although

social media causes several problems related to

people’s

communication

skills

and mental health, it allows

people

to keep in touch and it is good

Change preposition

for

show examples

marketing.

Submitted by hoailinhvu0504 on Mon Feb 20 2023

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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