IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Governments give lots of supports to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #lots #artists #people #waste #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Governments
Use synonyms
 in different countries provide financial
support
Use synonyms
 to
artists
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 there are
people
Use synonyms
 who agree that
government
Use synonyms
 should help
artists
Use synonyms
 to promote their work, others will argue, that there are more important problems
governments
Use synonyms
 should focus on and use funds to address those issues.In
this
Linking Words
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
 I will discuss both views and explain why I think that supporting
artists
Use synonyms
 is a good idea.
Firstly
Linking Words
, those who agree that
governments
Use synonyms
 should provide financial
support
Use synonyms
 to
artists
Use synonyms
 believe that
support
Use synonyms
 is crucial for keeping
art
Use synonyms
 alive. Many famous
artists
Use synonyms
 retire after a certain age and stop creating
art
Use synonyms
.The young generation of
artists
Use synonyms
 usually can not afford to fund their own projects.
For example
Linking Words
, the young painter might not have enough money to hire a venue for the exhibition. A beginner for producer can't produce films without the necessary funds for movie production.
Government
Use synonyms
 must help those
artists
Use synonyms
 to promote their work.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 is a form of entertainment ,which has become a vital part of
people
Use synonyms
's everyday lives.
People
Use synonyms
 work long, stressful hours and during their free
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
times
Add a comma
,times
show examples
 they should have access to different types of entertainment to forget about their hectic lifestyles.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will argue that there are more important problems that
government
Use synonyms
 should concentrate on rather than funding
artists
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should direct funds to solve recent housing issues, caused by a sudden price rise in housing and by excessive losses of jobs.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
support
Use synonyms
governments
Use synonyms
' sponsoring
artists
Use synonyms
, others believe that money should be spent on solving more important problems that countries might have I believe, that
although
Linking Words
 there are many issues
government
Use synonyms
 should focus on, it is important to
support
Use synonyms
artists
Use synonyms
 as they often struggle and need to be promoted,
also
Linking Words
 it is vital for keeping the
art
Use synonyms
 in
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
Submitted by  Niamh Gal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: