Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, education is increasing
day
by
day
but some people think
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
home schooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
show examples
is more effective for
children
's development and
outher
Correct your spelling
others
think
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
school
is more important for them. I
oipne
Correct your spelling
think
that,
school
is better for
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
development and
get
Verb problem
gives
show examples
more opportunities. On the one hand, beyond
dought
Correct your spelling
drought
show examples
, kids who are doing studies at
theri
Correct your spelling
their
house get more chances to stay with their parents and
grand parents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
show examples
.
For instance
,
Correct article usage
an oxford
show examples
oxford university
Correct your spelling
Oxford University
show examples
survery
Correct your spelling
survey
on
children
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
revealed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
childre
Correct your spelling
children
who study at
home
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
will
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
because they stay with their parents
allday
Correct your spelling
all
,
as a result
, they are capable of improving family connections.
moreover
, it is easier to focus and evaluate their conditions at
home
.
hence
, their grandparents can help them when they need it and
hey
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
feel on could nine.
On the other hand
,
school
is better for all the
children
. They get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to collaborate with
outher
Correct your spelling
other
children
and
theachers
Correct your spelling
teachers
. To
illustate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, if there are individuals from different
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
in the same
school
, as a
prsult
Correct your spelling
result
, student
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
communicate with each other. they need to learn different
lenguages
Correct your spelling
languages
and not only that but
also
they will
capable
Add a missing verb
be capable
show examples
to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
day
by
day
.
Furthermore
, they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
try to do some
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities in groups,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
helps them to have good physical and mental health.
In addition
,
everyonean
Correct your spelling
everyone
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
their position among their classmates and they can focus on better performance.
Thus
, They can learn many
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
.
To sum up
, more
children
are sitting alone at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
, it is
bettr
Correct your spelling
better
to join in the
chool
Correct your spelling
school
so that it
is definitely increase
Change the verb form
definitely increases
show examples
their development.
Thaking
Correct your spelling
Taking
Thanking
support of
above
Add an article
an above
the above
show examples
argument,
school
is good for them because they learn precise many
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
in the
school
.
Finally
, collaboration is a great way to learn new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
,
such
as ports, are,
music
Correct word choice
and music
show examples
.
Submitted by bhavendra.bhensdadia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Ensure that your essay's introduction clearly sets out the main issue and previews your main points. This helps in establishing a solid foundation for your argument.
examples
While you have provided some examples, make sure they are clearly linked to your main points and are relevant. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
language
Be mindful of your grammar and spelling. Proofread your essay to correct minor errors, as they can distract the reader and detract from your argument.
balance
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective on home schooling and traditional schooling.
examples
You have made an effort to include examples and evidence to support your points, which is commendable.
conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes your main argument well and reinforces your opinion, providing closure to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tailored learning
  • peer pressure
  • flexibility
  • instill values
  • socialization
  • communication skills
  • specialized facilities
  • extracurricular activities
  • diversity
  • structured environment
  • customized education
  • well-rounded education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: