IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that in order to reduce crime, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prisoners #prison #sentences #alternative #viewpoints
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Some individuals think that to shorten
crime
Use synonyms
 rates convicts must have extended
prison
Use synonyms
 sentences,
mean
Correct your spelling
meanwhile
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others believe that there are other ways that can be done. In my
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I am going to open up
this
Linking Words
 topic more. Starting with a discussion of why certain
people
Use synonyms
 believe that longer
prison
Use synonyms
 sentences will reduce
crime
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,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 others think
otherwise
Linking Words
,
then
Linking Words
 followed by my
opinion
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. Many
people
Use synonyms
 consider that
Correct article usage
the extention
show examples
extention
Correct your spelling
extension
 of
jail
Correct article usage
the jail
show examples
 sentence will help to lessen lawlessness.
Particular
Add an article
The particular
show examples
opinion
Use synonyms
 comes from
people
Use synonyms
 who
thinks
Change the verb form
think
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 that mankind that committed any type of
crime
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 will do it again
afterserving
Correct your spelling
after serving
 their term. Considered that
people
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 who stay in that kind of
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 for longer tend to commit less lawlessness.
However
Linking Words
, it is not always come out
Change preposition
of us
show examples
us
Correct your spelling
as
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 we expect it to come.
Period
Correct article usage
A period
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 of sentence will not change
crime
Use synonyms
 rates, it is
much
Correct article usage
a much
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complicated
Correct quantifier usage
more complicated
show examples
 thing, that has to do with
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 behaviour and state of mind
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 prefer alternative ways to shorten wrongdoings. They think
thta
Correct your spelling
that
 corrective
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 is the best option to reduce
crime
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.
In addition
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, many
researches
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researchers
show examples
 have
showen
Correct your spelling
shown
 that
such
Linking Words
 kind of activities actually help
people
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 to get rid of their old patterns. In their
Use synonyms
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is better to do something rather than just spend time within four walls with other
imdividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who have committed
Use synonyms
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
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, I believe that it depends on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 type of
crime
Use synonyms
 that person did.
People
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 who have done heinous crimes
such
Linking Words
us
Correct your spelling
as
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 murder, rape, etc. should stay in
prison
Use synonyms
till
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the rest of their lives.
However
Linking Words
, the rest, who
comperatively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
cooperatively
 did less evil should not stay in
prison
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 for
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 long. They need to
go
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 corrective
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 activities,
instead
Linking Words
 of staying in the same room with
people
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 who can affect them badly.
To sum
Linking Words
up
Add a comma
,up
show examples
 everything
thta
Correct your spelling
that
 has been stated before, I want to say that
Correct article usage
the extention
show examples
extention
Correct your spelling
extension
 of
Use synonyms
prison
Add an article
a prison
show examples
 sentence should depend on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 type of
crime
Use synonyms
 that mankind has ever committed. There are a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 different ways to reduce lawlessness, we should not stick to
onle
Correct your spelling
only
one
 one approach. Different crimes require different solutions.
Submitted by salta.Zh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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