Many People Work Long Hours, Leaving Very Little Time For Leisure Activities

there is no doubt
people
care more
to
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about
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their careers. Working for long hours leaves less time for entertaining activities.
this
essay will discuss two aspects in the following content.
Firstly
, working long hours has some benefits. If
people
work extra
then
they can take
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the promotion
a promotion
show examples
promotion
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promotions
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and achieve good money ,so they can easily buy a new home and facilities
also
going overseas for holidays is easy for them.
beside
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Besides
show examples
these employees have
a
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apply
show examples
better
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
about
themselvs
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themselves
.
for
instance
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,instance
show examples
hardworker
Correct your spelling
hard worker
hardworking
employers who take good wages can experience a comfortable
life
which let them
to
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apply
show examples
feel extraordinary and enjoy
from
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apply
show examples
their
life
.
Secondly
, working long hours will increase family problems.
people
who work a lot have no time to spend with their family so , they don't take responsibility for their emotional partners and children like school programs and children's activities.
in addition
, busy employees pay attention less to their health because they spend huge time in their office
while
suffering lots of pressure ,
thus
probably in the
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
these successful
people
will face different serious sicknesses .
For instance
, nowadays
people
devote themselves to their job to provide facilities for their own
family
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families
show examples
while
the satisfaction of
life
has decreased
as well as
divorce and mental issues have risen in recent years.
To sum up
, I believe working too hard has more disadvantages
instead
of benefits to it. it is not reasonable to are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
to
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of
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
and forget
diffrent
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different
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
of
life
. to care
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about diffrent
show examples
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
parts of
life
is essential for
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
.
Submitted by mohammad.jeddinia on

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