Many People Work Long Hours, Leaving Very Little Time For Leisure Activities
there is no doubt
people
care more to
their careers. Working for long hours leaves less time for entertaining activities.Change preposition
about
this
essay will discuss two aspects in the following content.
Firstly
, working long hours has some benefits. If people
work extra then
they can take Add an article
the promotion
a promotion
promotion
and achieve good money ,so they can easily buy a new home and facilities Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
also
going overseas for holidays is easy for them. beside
these employees have Change preposition
Besides
a
better Remove the article
apply
self confidence
about Add a hyphen
self-confidence
themselvs
. Correct your spelling
themselves
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
hardworker
employers who take good wages can experience a comfortable Correct your spelling
hard worker
hardworking
life
which let them to
feel extraordinary and enjoy Change the verb form
apply
from
their Change preposition
apply
life
.
Secondly
, working long hours will increase family problems. people
who work a lot have no time to spend with their family so , they don't take responsibility for their emotional partners and children like school programs and children's activities.in addition
, busy employees pay attention less to their health because they spend huge time in their office while
suffering lots of pressure ,thus
probably in the future
these successful Add a comma
,future
people
will face different serious sicknesses . For instance
, nowadays people
devote themselves to their job to provide facilities for their own family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
while
the satisfaction of life
has decreased as well as
divorce and mental issues have risen in recent years.
To sum up
, I believe working too hard has more disadvantages instead
of benefits to it. it is not reasonable to are alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
to
Change preposition
of
career
and forget Fix the agreement mistake
careers
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
aspect
of Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
life
. to care Change preposition
about diffrent
diffrent
parts of Correct your spelling
different
life
is essential for every one
.Replace the word
everyone
Submitted by mohammad.jeddinia on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?