Many People Work Long Hours, Leaving Very Little Time For Leisure Activities

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities

there is no doubt

people

care more

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about

show examples

their careers. Working for long hours leaves less time for entertaining activities.

this

essay will discuss two aspects in the following content.

Firstly

, working long hours has some benefits. If

people

work extra

then

they can take

Add an article

the promotion

a promotion

show examples

promotion

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promotions

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and achieve good money ,so they can easily buy a new home and facilities

also

going overseas for holidays is easy for them.

beside

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Besides

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these employees have

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apply

show examples

better

self confidence

Add a hyphen

self-confidence

show examples

about

themselvs

Correct your spelling

themselves

for

instance

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,instance

show examples

hardworker

Correct your spelling

hard worker

hardworking

employers who take good wages can experience a comfortable

life

which let them

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apply

show examples

feel extraordinary and enjoy

from

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apply

show examples

their

life

Secondly

, working long hours will increase family problems.

people

who work a lot have no time to spend with their family so , they don't take responsibility for their emotional partners and children like school programs and children's activities.

in addition

, busy employees pay attention less to their health because they spend huge time in their office

while

suffering lots of pressure ,

thus

probably in the

future

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,future

show examples

these successful

people

will face different serious sicknesses .

For instance

, nowadays

people

devote themselves to their job to provide facilities for their own

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

while

the satisfaction of

life

has decreased

as well as

divorce and mental issues have risen in recent years.

To sum up

, I believe working too hard has more disadvantages

instead

of benefits to it. it is not reasonable to are

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

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show examples

career

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careers

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and forget

diffrent

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different

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

life

. to care

Change preposition

about diffrent

show examples

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

parts of

life

is essential for

every one

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

Submitted by mohammad.jeddinia on Mon Feb 20 2023

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many People Work Long Hours, Leaving Very Little Time For Leisure Activities

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that robots are important for humankind's future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

ome people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?