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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates and predicts the percentage population of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 over 65 years in three countries namely the
USA
Use synonyms
,Sweden and
Japan
Use synonyms
 for a century starting from 1940. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective it is readily apparent that there is a rising trend in the ageing population in all given countries
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 depicts the most significant climb
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period . The dramatic change is observed in
Japan
Use synonyms
 starting the course at the bottom and reaching the top
at the end
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,the
USA
Use synonyms
 had a higher number of aged population and will be placed at the lowest in 2040. In 1940,the
USA
Use synonyms
 accounted for the majority of elders accounting for just below 10%.
while
Linking Words
 Sweden stood in second place with nearly 5% of aged
people
Use synonyms
.In both countries, the number of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 fluctuated and rose marginally below 20% in Sweden and just above 15% in the
USA
Use synonyms
 in 2020.But
thereafter
Linking Words
 it is predicted to hit a high of 25% and above 20% respectively.
Besides
Linking Words
 ,
Japan
Use synonyms
 stayed at 5% and with little fluctuations ascended to 10% in 2020 ,but it is supposed to plunge over the next 20 years to more than 25% ,holding the highest number of elderly
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by g.s.subasinghe on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, usa, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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