Some people believe that modern telecommunication devices have many benefits for people, while others think otherwise? What is your opinion?

As time flew, the crucial presence of state-of-the-art communication devices represented to individuals a diversity of invaluable advantages in human daily activities.
Hence
, a controversial argument aimed at both the merits and drawbacks of modern gadgets occurred and I firmly agree that the former is a convinced bias despite its counterpart still possessing a few grave perils. On the one hand, it is universally accepted that there are a few negative influences involved with the emergence of cutting-edge telecommunication
whereas
the first consequence is people might easily be over-reliant on virtual interaction.
This
should be assessed as a sensitive matter because it could decline the physical connection among people which apparently causes a sedentary lifestyle. The young generation would be a compelling example when it is extremely common to look for a junior couple sitting opposite each other in a coffee shop but still transmitting messages for communication purposes. Health issues, particularly myopia
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
a significant result of using smartphones or laptops since the hazardous blue light(HEV) could damage human eyes, which is radiated from the screen. In fact,
this
problem can probably bring a few obstacles in our daily life, it is wise to assume that they can be solved by some solutions.
On the other hand
, these developments are still playing an inextricable role.
Firstly
, possessing a smartphone would be a marvellous conduit for information exchange in different aspects of life, especially for members of the public studying abroad. Imagine in the past they were likely to send a letter to their relatives which cost them approximately a week, let alone the period for the response. Had it not been for the appearance of novel technology, those students
could
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would
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not have made any video conferences or even phone calls regardless of both physical distance and time consumption.
Last
but not least, smart gadgets are considered an instrument for humans to make friends through media,
such
as Facebook, Instagram, and so forth. In conclusion, the overwhelming development in cutting-edge telecommunication has created an intensive impact on humans.
Therefore
, I strongly believe that they are significantly vital to our
life
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lives
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despite some potential risks.
Submitted by lpnthanh on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's opinion and a preview of the main points. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the writer's stance and the main arguments.
task achievement
There is a need to provide a more complete response to the prompt by addressing both sides of the argument and presenting a balanced viewpoint.
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