IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an argument that whether schools should have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 plan to teach
food
Use synonyms
-related or other important
subjects
Use synonyms
 to the
students
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 can receive and learn different knowledge in other important
subjects
Use synonyms
, I believe that learning more about
food
Use synonyms
 in school can make
students
Use synonyms
' future lives better.
However
Linking Words
, we still cannot ignore the importance of studying other
subjects
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
,
Mathematics
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
Mathematics
Use synonyms
 is one of the
subjects
Use synonyms
 that
students
Use synonyms
 should familiarize themselves it. Math can provide the foundation of most other science
subjects
Use synonyms
 and can train logical thinking, so the
students
Use synonyms
' outcomes or results of other regions will be better if
students
Use synonyms
 can master
Mathematics
Use synonyms
. Second, "Big Data" is a future developing trend in society, which require more people who understand data mining.
Therefore
Linking Words
, learning well in
Mathematics
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 helps in
students
Use synonyms
' future careers.
Although
Linking Words
 it is important that
students
Use synonyms
 should hold tight employment opportunities, schools still have a responsibility to teach the correct values about how to be a responsible person
such
Linking Words
 as saving
food
Use synonyms
 and saving the world.
Food
Use synonyms
 is undoubtedly a requirement in our lives,
however
Linking Words
, a lot of people in the world suffer from
food
Use synonyms
 shortages. If more
students
Use synonyms
 can be
food
Use synonyms
 scientists and make an effort to produce cheaper some "new type
food
Use synonyms
"
such
Linking Words
 as extracting the protein from worms and vegetation, which can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem effectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, the issues of wastage of
food
Use synonyms
 could be improved if
students
Use synonyms
 realized the processes of producing
food
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the activities of visiting farms or pastures can train
students
Use synonyms
' consciousness of saving
food
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 prepare the
food
Use synonyms
 manually like collecting eggs or milk, and they can feel how difficult in producing
food
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, a good habit of saving
food
Use synonyms
 can be nurtured in
students
Use synonyms
' minds. In summary, schools should focus on teaching more
food
Use synonyms
-related knowledge to
students
Use synonyms
, not ignoring the importance of other
subjects
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: