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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Wealthy nations should asist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

#nations #asist #countries #relief #disasters
It is argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 rich
countries
 should help not rich
countries
 when natural catastrophes hits.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement because poorer
countries
 need trained manpower and to rebuild they need
an economic resources
Correct the article-noun agreement
economic resources
an economic resource
show examples
. Unwealthy
countries
 have less trained manpower
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their benches. In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 natural
disaster
Add a comma
,disaster
show examples
 most of the buildings could collapse and
people
 would stuck
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. To rescue them, the trained
people
 should lead the
searchs
Correct your spelling
search
 and rescue quest and in poor
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 there are
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 educated
people
 around. It would be harder to find
trained
Add an article
a trained
the trained
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
,
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
countries
 can
asist
Correct your spelling
assist
 them with
these trained manpower
Change the determiner
this trained manpower
show examples
.
For example
, Recently
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 earthquake hits the southern side of Turkey and nearly 5000 buildings collapsed. Without getting any help it would take months to save all of the
people
 but thanks to
asist
Correct your spelling
assist
 from other
countries
people
saved
Add a missing verb
were saved
show examples
 in a week. After the catastrophe to build up
again
Add a comma
,again
show examples
countries
 need
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
economic support. After rescues citizens are going to lose their houses so government should give them new places and take
care
 of the victims. For all these,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 needs money if it is a huge disaster they could not afford that and need
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
aid for
rebuild
Wrong verb form
rebuilding
show examples
 and taking
care
 of the citizens.
For instance
, After
earthquake
Add an article
the earthquake
an earthquake
show examples
 in
Endonesia
Correct your spelling
Indonesia
many humans lost their homes and with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outside money assistance government take
care
 of them and build their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 again. In conclusion, unwealthy nations should be supported by rich nations in
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural disasters because they have less educated
people
 and they have no money to take
care
 of their citizens.
Submitted by erenar3 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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