Some people say that professional work like doctor and teacher great contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment to what extent do you agree or disagree

Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
we are living in the salad days of the millennium, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
huge intersectional inequality
persisitng
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persisting
persist
in the
community
. More often people from
entertainment
Correct article usage
the entertainment
show examples
industry
enjoy higher
societial
Correct your spelling
societal
social
status and wages,
incomparison
Correct your spelling
in comparison
with professional workers. Some people assert that
professionals
who contribute to the well-being of the
community
should be paid higher than other
professionals
. I completely agree with the notion, and
this
essay delves into the reasons for the agreement. Primarily, workers like teachers and doctors have a riskier job of bringing up a
community
which is healthier and have higher moral values. A minuscule error can impart great danger.
For instance
, a slight error from a surgeon can put human life in danger.
In addition
,
acknowleding
Correct your spelling
acknowledging
people in
stress bearing
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stress-bearing
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jobs impart a sense of being rewarded which
further
can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
burnout and staff turnover.
Secondly
, increasing pay ameliorates the quality of work of the
professionals
and can attract more employees into
this
sector. As the health and teaching
industry
is facing staff shortage backlash, it is an essential step to be undertaken.
For example
, a recent research conducted in Australia described low pay rates as a prime cause for
professionals
quitting the academic
industry
. Increasing the salary improves the
self value
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self-value
show examples
of the
professinals
Correct your spelling
professionals
leading to motivation, and thereby
improved
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
work quality. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that owing to their immense contribution to
establish
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establishing
show examples
a healthy
community
,
professionals
working in the health and teaching
industry
should be awarded more wages compared to
athelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
and actors.
Submitted by dtifaniya on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indispensable
  • justified
  • revenue generation
  • critical contribution
  • balanced reward system
  • market dynamics
  • job satisfaction
  • talented individuals
  • public interest
  • well-being
  • development
  • mental health
  • happiness
  • attract
  • advocating
  • overpaid
  • equally important
  • ensuring
  • reflects
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