Some people say that professional work like doctor and teacher great contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment to what extent do you agree or disagree
Eventhough
we are living in the salad days of the millennium, there Correct your spelling
Even though
are
huge intersectional inequality Change the verb form
is
persisitng
in the Correct your spelling
persisting
persist
community
. More often people from entertainment
Correct article usage
the entertainment
industry
enjoy higher societial
status and wages, Correct your spelling
societal
social
incomparison
with professional workers. Some people assert that Correct your spelling
in comparison
professionals
who contribute to the well-being of the community
should be paid higher than other professionals
. I completely agree with the notion, and this
essay delves into the reasons for the agreement.
Primarily, workers like teachers and doctors have a riskier job of bringing up a community
which is healthier and have higher moral values. A minuscule error can impart great danger. For instance
, a slight error from a surgeon can put human life in danger. In addition
, acknowleding
people in Correct your spelling
acknowledging
stress bearing
jobs impart a sense of being rewarded which Add a hyphen
stress-bearing
further
can reduce the
burnout and staff turnover.
Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, increasing pay ameliorates the quality of work of the professionals
and can attract more employees into this
sector. As the health and teaching industry
is facing staff shortage backlash, it is an essential step to be undertaken. For example
, a recent research conducted in Australia described low pay rates as a prime cause for professionals
quitting the academic industry
. Increasing the salary improves the self value
of the Add a hyphen
self-value
professinals
leading to motivation, and thereby Correct your spelling
professionals
improved
work quality.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that owing to their immense contribution to Wrong verb form
improving
establish
a healthy Change the verb form
establishing
community
, professionals
working in the health and teaching industry
should be awarded more wages compared to athelets
and actors.Correct your spelling
athletes
Submitted by dtifaniya on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite