IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Government should spend more money on education or sports and recreation .Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #sports #recreation
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culture and athletics play a crucial role in our society since the generation who is more educated and practical in
Add an article
the game
a game
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game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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 can turn the history of their provincial so I strongly believe that government should allocate more money to those spheres. To start with, the only weapon to fight injustice is
discipline
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the discipline
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 it means that if we have more educated youngsters in our society there will be a reduction in the number of crimes because they will instinctively know that committing crimes has consequences
such
Linking Words
 as jail, less reliable friends and parents who constantly think that they failed in bringing up their kids. Another reason for supporting
this
Linking Words
 idea is having more healthy teenagers as they are the ones who are able to make our
provincial
Replace the word
province
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 well-known around the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, triple GGG a professional boxer has made a noticeable contribution to the popularity of our agrarian. He has been performing and beating his opponents in the USA
what's more
Add the comma(s)
, what's more,
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 he has been always representing our flag and traditional clothes which
inresulted
Correct your spelling
resulted
in resulted
many
Change preposition
in many
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 fans from different continents being interested in our culture and history.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if we pay more attention to only these two factors other spheres may suffer
such
Linking Words
 as art, history or music and it would lead to undevelopment of them
however
Linking Words
, it does not require as much financial support as fun or literacy
due to
Linking Words
 facilities. In fact, the number of people involved in sports is much more
overtakes
Correct subject-verb agreement
overtake
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 than all those three spheres combined together. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that culture and athletics need more financial support and special care by the government
due to
Linking Words
 the large number of teenagers being enthused by them and it
also
Linking Words
 has a positive impact on the country's development
Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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