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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Violence in films has led to a number of problems in society. What are these problems and how can they be solved?

#violence #films #society
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It is
a
Change the article
apply
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widely claimed that violence in films
have
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has
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 impacted
to
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apply
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Use synonyms
society
Replace the word
social
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 issues. The multiple examples of
problem
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problems
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 and how to tackle with its will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
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this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many people believe that
film
Correct article usage
the film
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 industry has been producing some pessimistic consequences to our reality
such
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 as
aggrassive
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aggressive
 or
abuse
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abusive
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 actions, leading to
Use synonyms
society
Replace the word
societal
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 issues nowadays. Take Thai drama,
for instance
Linking Words
; the plots illustrate some emotions about
envyness
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Inverness
 and some physical actions in order to protect their
familly
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family
 or even their partner which contributes to wrong directions in the real life
logical
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logically
show examples
. From
this
Linking Words
 perspective, it is
entertraining
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entertaining
 on television to keep audiences watching
although
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real
society
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
it
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 rarely reap
benefit
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benefits
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 from it.
However
Linking Words
, the film or steaming media can be tackled by individuals and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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. In
term
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terms
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 of individuals, monitoring your own children
while
Linking Words
 watching
violence
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violent
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 movies and guiding how they can adapt
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 in their
society
Use synonyms
, and another way is the government should control the program on television to release more optimistic consequences to audiences
instead
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 of negative outcomes.
Therefore
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, it is crucial that everyone in
society
Use synonyms
 should take these actions seriously in order to have a healthy community. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is undeniable that films play a significant role in our
dialy
Correct your spelling
daily
 lifestyle, I am of the opinion that we should tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem by
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 together to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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better
environments
Correct the article-noun agreement
environment
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.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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