The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#information #process #drinks #summarise #report #features #comparisons

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The diagram shows how fizzy drinks are manufactured.

Overall

Linking Words

, the process can be divided into 5 stages, starting with

water

Use synonyms

preparation, evaporation and carbonation, mixing, filtering and filling to the

last

Linking Words

process of distribution.

Firstly

Linking Words

, raw

water

Use synonyms

will be filtered before going into

water

Use synonyms

softening machines and being processed with chemicals in the initial cleaning stage.

Secondly

Linking Words

, after the preparation is done, the cleaned

water

Use synonyms

will be pumped into electric heaters

to begin

Linking Words

the heating evaporation and carbonation process.

Then

Linking Words

, it passes through a cooling pipe to get carbonated with a particular gas called carbon dioxide, before being sent to the mixing tank. Once the

water

Use synonyms

is filled in the tank, stage 3 begins.

Water

Use synonyms

will be added with combinations of colouring substances, syrup, and flavour in order to make a specific taste.

Consequently

Linking Words

, in stage 4, the mixed

water

Use synonyms

will be filtered again in order to be filled into bottles and cans.

Finally

Linking Words

, the packages are packed into boxes before being delivered to different supermarkets by trucks.

Submitted by pimchanok.npt on Wed Feb 22 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

168 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Filtration
Water softening
Chemical treatment
Evaporation
Cooling pipe
Carbonation
Carbon dioxide
High pressure
Syrup
Flavor
Color
Stirring
Uniformity
Secondary filtration
Bottling
Canning
Packaging
Distribution
Retail outlets

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The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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