The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram shows how fizzy drinks are manufactured.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process can be divided into 5 stages, starting with
water
Use synonyms
preparation, evaporation and carbonation, mixing, filtering and filling to the
last
Linking Words
process of distribution.
Firstly
Linking Words
, raw
water
Use synonyms
will be filtered before going into
water
Use synonyms
softening machines and being processed with chemicals in the initial cleaning stage.
Secondly
Linking Words
, after the preparation is done, the cleaned
water
Use synonyms
will be pumped into electric heaters
to begin
Linking Words
the heating evaporation and carbonation process.
Then
Linking Words
, it passes through a cooling pipe to get carbonated with a particular gas called carbon dioxide, before being sent to the mixing tank. Once the
water
Use synonyms
is filled in the tank, stage 3 begins.
Water
Use synonyms
will be added with combinations of colouring substances, syrup, and flavour in order to make a specific taste.
Consequently
Linking Words
, in stage 4, the mixed
water
Use synonyms
will be filtered again in order to be filled into bottles and cans.
Finally
Linking Words
, the packages are packed into boxes before being delivered to different supermarkets by trucks.
Submitted by pimchanok.npt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Filtration
  • Water softening
  • Chemical treatment
  • Evaporation
  • Cooling pipe
  • Carbonation
  • Carbon dioxide
  • High pressure
  • Syrup
  • Flavor
  • Color
  • Stirring
  • Uniformity
  • Secondary filtration
  • Bottling
  • Canning
  • Packaging
  • Distribution
  • Retail outlets
What to do next:
Look at other essays: