The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows how fizzy drinks are manufactured.

Overall

Linking Words

, the process can be divided into 5 stages, starting with

water

Use synonyms

preparation, evaporation and carbonation, mixing, filtering and filling to the

last

Linking Words

process of distribution.

Firstly

Linking Words

, raw

water

Use synonyms

will be filtered before going into

water

Use synonyms

softening machines and being processed with chemicals in the initial cleaning stage.

Secondly

Linking Words

, after the preparation is done, the cleaned

water

Use synonyms

will be pumped into electric heaters

to begin

Linking Words

the heating evaporation and carbonation process.

Then

Linking Words

, it passes through a cooling pipe to get carbonated with a particular gas called carbon dioxide, before being sent to the mixing tank. Once the

water

Use synonyms

is filled in the tank, stage 3 begins.

Water

Use synonyms

will be added with combinations of colouring substances, syrup, and flavour in order to make a specific taste.

Consequently

Linking Words

, in stage 4, the mixed

water

Use synonyms

will be filtered again in order to be filled into bottles and cans.

Finally

Linking Words

, the packages are packed into boxes before being delivered to different supermarkets by trucks.

pimchanok.nptWed Feb 22 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

168 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Filtration
Water softening
Chemical treatment
Evaporation
Cooling pipe
Carbonation
Carbon dioxide
High pressure
Syrup
Flavor
Color
Stirring
Uniformity
Secondary filtration
Bottling
Canning
Packaging
Distribution
Retail outlets

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