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Band 6.5

Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie stars but know very little about famous people from the history in their own country. Why is this? How can more interest be created in young people to gain more knowledge about their own famous people from history?

#people #pop #movie #stars #history #country #interest #gain
These days, young
people
 tend to have more
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 in international celebrities than historical figures in their country.
This
 essay will present possible causes of
this
 trend
as well as
 the appropriate solutions to improve the situation. There are several reasons why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young nowadays know more about famous movie and music stars
instead
 of having knowledge of the
history
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their country.
To begin
 with, social media contributes to the increasing interest of young
people
 in celebrities. It is common to notice that famous
people
’s lives are grabbing the headlines of the majority of newspapers, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online ones. Since teenagers now spend most of their spare time surfing the Internet, they are likely to be exposed to ubiquitous posts or articles about actors or singers more frequently,
thus
 becoming more fascinated
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
such
 topics.
In addition
, another cause of
this
 trend is the tedious teaching method of
history
 at high school. It seems that
history
 itself is not attractive, leading to the fact that students will suffer from utter boredom if their teachers fail to make
history
 lessons more interesting. Various solutions can be adopted to make young
people
 more interested in
history
 and historical
people
. First of all,
film makers
Correct your spelling
film-makers
show examples
 should be encouraged to produce movies based on key historical events. Young
people
 will be eager to watch
such
 movies, especially when their idols are chosen for the starring role.
As a result
, they will gain more knowledge about a particular historical period by watching those films.
Second,
the teaching method in
history
classroom
Fix the agreement mistake
classrooms
show examples
 should be tailored in order to arouse students’ interests.
Instead
 of teaching merely a long list of names and dates in textbooks, teachers can add motion images and vivid sound effects to create more appealing lessons. In conclusion,
although
 young
people
 these days do not pay as much attention to
history
 as they do to celebrities,
this
 problem can be dealt with by several suggested solutions.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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