Parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only a few manage to achieve it. What do you think is the reason? Discuss possible solutions and provide examples.

A balance between family and
work
is what
parents
seek in life.
However
, not many couples these days are successful in nailing those two aspects at the same time.
This
essay will explain the causes and the possible solutions to
this
matter. The first reason is a lack of financial planning. Money is one of the most significant aspects that can bring
a
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peace of mind in maintaining family stability.
Therefore
, there are a lot of
parents
who usually become busy at
work
because they do not have enough money and they need to earn more in order to fulfil their family needs.
Hence
, they somehow do not have any other choice than to
work
harder at the office. Actually,
this
situation will unlikely happen if
parents
can somehow plan their
budget
first before the marriage. We know that sometimes there are unpredictable expenses, but planning it earlier will anticipate and solve the chaotic unbalanced
work
-life condition.
For example
, married couples can start sorting and prioritizing their monthly spending and
also
incomes, or maybe they can hire a professional financial planner in order to make sure their
budget
will not be over-expended,
therefore
, they have time to spend with family. The
last
reason is a tight
work
policy. When people
work
in a company, they need to obey some rules, so that they can still perform at
work
and get their salary. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of cases where companies are too strict in giving their employees days off or even fair working hours. In order to solve that issue, it is better for
parents
to negotiate or even make a bold decision to leave
such
a toxic office environment.
For instance
, they can tell their manager about the family situation honestly. If it does not
work
, they may consider finding other jobs that can understand their priority. In summary, an absence of
budget
planning and strict working rules are the main causes why
parents
find it hard to maintain their
work
-family life. To solve those two matters, they can start making
budget
planning and
also
avoiding unhealthy workplaces.
Submitted by tragicpunch on

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advice
Task Response: The essay addresses the causes of the issue and provides possible solutions, but the depth of analysis could be improved. It would benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the reasons behind the lack of financial planning and tight work policy.
advice
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Additionally, the essay would benefit from stronger topic sentences and smoother transitions between paragraphs.
advice
Lexical Resource: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but some expressions are repetitive or could be replaced with more precise language. Additionally, the use of academic language could be enhanced to improve the overall lexical resource.
advice
Grammatical Range: The essay shows a good command of grammar and a variety of sentence structures. Some errors are present, particularly in article and preposition use, which could be minimized for a higher score.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • support systems
  • childcare
  • traditional gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • financial stability
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work options
  • burnout
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