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Band 2.5

Some people are happy to stay in the same area for their whole life, while others prefer living in many different places. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #area #life #places
Today a lot of children take
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
 jobs. In that
case
Add a comma
,case
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 some people are wondering
should
Correct word choice
if should
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 children take
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
 jobs in their free
time
 or
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 should totally focus on their studies.
For
Change preposition
In
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 the beginning, want to say that
school
 is really important for our life. It gives children so many different skills. You can get a lot of theoretical knowledge.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
school
 is a good way to make friends and develop your social skills.
However
,
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 takes too much
time
 and it is really hard to go to the same place, talk with the same people and do the same work. It is exhausting and depressing. I guess that
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 job can help to change the situation.
Besides
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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students can learn how to apply
knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
show examples
 that they get in
school
. They
also
 can get new practical skills and you will earn a little money.
Nonetheless
,
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 job can take a lot of
time
to
Correct your spelling
too
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, so you need to clearly understand that it isn’t a joke and you will some of your energy to
this
.
As
Change preposition
In
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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conclusion,
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 must be a priority in your life, but
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 job can be really useful in future.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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