IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientists that computers will become more intelligent than human Some find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss points and give your own opinion.

#scientists #computers #find #trend #development #points
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Nowdays
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Nowadays
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 IT and artificial intelligence are widely used in daily life globally, so research and
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 in that field are done constantly.
Although
Linking Words
 I think that technology is very useful for different things, I do not agree that it would be positive if computers become more intelligent than
people
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. Computers are used in all segments of humans
life
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living
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 today including science, research, safety, medicine and
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 because, very often, they can provide more precise and accurate information and data in some fields
such
Linking Words
 as
matematical
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mathematical
 solutions, statistics,
biomethrical
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biometrical
 patterns and similar, so using them we can exclude the mistakes that human
naturally
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nature
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 makes. It is very real to expect that a computer can make more objective decisions and counts, so some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it would be
great
Correct article usage
a great
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improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
 to put it above
human
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the human
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 mind.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a computer can not have ethical and moral values
in contrast
Linking Words
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
. Considering that a human is
super
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a super
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 complex and unique creature
that is
Linking Words
summary
Correct article usage
a summary
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 of all of his experiences and knowledge, he is capable to make decisions
according
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toaccording
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 them, so there is no possible way to copy that into
arificial
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artificial
 intelligence. Emotions that
people
Use synonyms
 can feel
along with
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the capabillity
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capabillity
Correct your spelling
capability
 to act
according
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toaccording
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 socially acceptable patterns are the things that make
structure
Add an article
the structure
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 of the society the way
as
Correct word choice
apply
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we
know
Correct pronoun usage
itknow
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, so if we come to the point where
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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, that will never have
ability
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the ability
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 to feel emotions or behave by ethical and moral standards, make decisions above
people
Use synonyms
, we might destroy society structure and risk devotion of our species. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 development in the IT sector is positive and can bring a lot of benefits to
people
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if computers become more intelligent than us
humenkind
Correct your spelling
humankind
 could be destroyed.
Submitted by martinapesa11 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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