IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn't be a limitation on age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

The contemporary world is growing beyond leaps and bonds, and more
people
Use synonyms
 intend to work to keep up with
ever-growing
Add an article
the ever-growing
show examples
 world, rather than retire. Some
people
Use synonyms
 assert that there should be
restriction
Add an article
a restriction
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 beyond the
age
Use synonyms
 of 65 to work,
while
Linking Words
 others question
this
Linking Words
 hypothesis and state that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 should not be a factor that
impede
Change the verb form
impedes
show examples
 the working rights of an individual. It is irrefutable that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 both pros and cons
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
This
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 essay delves into both prospects before stating an opinion. Primarily, the principles of
retriement
Correct your spelling
retirement
 are cemented on the fact that more
people
Use synonyms
 will have
stress-free
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a stress-free
show examples
 life, where they eat healthier food and take better care of their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 will eventually result in
lesser
Add an article
a lesser
show examples
 burden on the economy
as well as
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 the medical system.
For instance
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,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
recent research on the pre-determinants of
rhuematoid
Correct your spelling
rheumatoid
 arthritis
postulate
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postulates
show examples
 that lack of pertinent food for breakfast is one of the vital cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chronic disease, which is very common in
working
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the working
show examples
 class.
Thus
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, retirement gives them ample time to take care of their
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, there will
sufficient
Add a missing verb
be sufficient
show examples
 time for family bonding, which again improves
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental and physical
health
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, if there is no limitation to the
age
Use synonyms
 in
employment
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the employment
show examples
 sector, there will be lesser job opportunities for
younger
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the younger
a younger
show examples
 generation.
This
Linking Words
 increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment may not only lead to
surge
Add an article
a surge
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
rates
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 but
also
Linking Words
 other illegal activities. One
such
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 example is the rise of crime
rates
Use synonyms
 in West
bengal
Change the capitalization
Bengal
show examples
 in India
due to
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 higher
unemploment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
rates
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, new faces
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the industry
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 always accompanied by
innovatives
Correct your spelling
innovative
 ideas, which are the need of the day. Shifting towards the second school of thought, older
people
Use synonyms
 are more experienced in their sector and can easily
perclude
Correct your spelling
preclude
 any impediments that may arise. One
such
Linking Words
 example is the medical profession, where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older doctors can easily diagnose
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 compared to their younger
counterpart
Fix the agreement mistake
counterparts
show examples
.
Furthermore
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,
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to take a toll on the
metal
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 of an individual, as they have to depend on others to an
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
. They lack
sense
Add an article
a sense
the sense
show examples
 of ownership of their life, which affects their emotional well-being. Higher
rates
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 of emotional morbidity in retirees
illustarte
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 the point. To summarise, two points of the argument have strong support.
However
Linking Words
, after a thorough analysis, I opine that
people
Use synonyms
 should not be allowed to continue their work after the
age
Use synonyms
 of 65. There can be exemptions to
this
Linking Words
scenerio
Correct your spelling
scenario
such
Linking Words
 as in critical professions like
health
Use synonyms
 care.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory retirement
  • workforce regeneration
  • transition planning
  • cognitive decline
  • predictable transition
  • physical endurance
  • job performance
  • financial necessity
  • personal fulfillment
  • flexible retirement policy
  • economic reasons
  • expertise
  • consultancy roles
  • active participation
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