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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period #features #comparisons
The chart shows the
number
 of
enquires
Correct your spelling
enquiries
show examples
recevied
Correct your spelling
received
 by the Tourist Information Office over a six-month period in 2011. There are three
enquery
Correct your spelling
enquiry
 methods, in
person
, by
letter
/
email
 and by
telephone
.
Overall
, during
this
 six-month period,
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
 and
by
Add a hyphen
by-telephone
show examples
telephone
enquiries
 had a big growth.
By contrast
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
enqueries
Correct your spelling
enquiries
 by
letter
 or
email
 had a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 drop. Until Jun 2011, there are 4 times more users
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
enquery
Correct your spelling
enquiry
 and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
telephone
enquery
Correct your spelling
enquiry
 than
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
letter
/
email
. Looking at the details. In Jan 2011,
telephone
Add an article
the telephone
a telephone
show examples
 is the most popular way to
enquery
Correct your spelling
enquiry
,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of by
letter
/
email
enquiries
 is not significantly different from
telephone
Add an article
the telephone
a telephone
show examples
. And the
number
 of
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
enquiries
 is the lowest, around 400. But, dramatically, the
number
 of
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
enquiries
 is
rapidly
Change the adverb
rapid
show examples
 growth in after six
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
. Until Jun 2011, it began the biggest
enquiries
 source.
Submitted by shjwudp on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, enquery, person, letter, email, telephone, enquiries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
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