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Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting themain features, and make comparisons whererelevant.Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting themain features, and make comparisons whererelevant.Write at least 150 words.
#percentage #households #kinds #technology #information #themain #features #comparisons #whererelevant
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The line graph compares the proportion of five kinds of households in the United States during the four-year period from 1995 to 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, each
catagory
Correct your spelling
category
 of these households showed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increasing trend, among which washing machines continuously occupied the highest percentage over four
years
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. As shown from the first year, the percentage of washing
mashines
Correct your spelling
machines
machine
 was about 1.5 times higher than that of computers (60% in comparison to 40%), both of which steadily increased in the next four
years
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 and peaked at 80 and 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively in 1999. Moving to the rest three lines from 1995 and 1997, there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opposite trend, comparing
DVD
Use synonyms
 players with phones and the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the
Internet
Use synonyms
 and phones saw a sharp and a slight increase respectively soon or later, the figure for
DVD
Use synonyms
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 fluctuated in these two
years
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, dropping to about 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1996 and rising back to 20
pecent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 in 1997. In the following two
years
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, phones exponentially rose, exceeded computers in
appoximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 the
last
Linking Words
 three months of 1998, and peaked at around 75% in 1999.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the percentage of
DVD
Use synonyms
 players and the
Internet
Use synonyms
 experienced a moderate increase from 20% to 30% in 1997, with
DVD
Use synonyms
 players increasing
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same rate and the
Internet
Use synonyms
 considerably jumping to 50% between 1998 and 1999.
Submitted by gracelovefruit on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, dvd, internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • households
  • technology
  • graph
  • 1995
  • 1999
  • televisions
  • computers
  • remained relatively stable
  • significant increase
  • surpassed
  • doubled
  • slight increase
  • suggests
  • growing trend
  • adoption
  • continued popularity
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