IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons for your answer and include any r own knowledge or experience. evant examples from your You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #weight #people #level #health #fitness #measures #r #evant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been universally acknowledged that the problem of
obesity
Use synonyms
 is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario.
This
Linking Words
 problem has been a depressing magnitude.
Although
Linking Words
 a plethora of reasons are there yet some sensible solution is there yet some sensible solutions are
also
Linking Words
 available to curb
this
Linking Words
 grave concern. Commencing with the cause which is responsible for
this
Linking Words
 growth of it. the first reason is the consumption of fatty foodstuffs
also
Linking Words
 known as junk meals living in a society where time is of utmost importance, people tend to eat food which is easy and quick to consume. It is an unhealthy diet that consists mostly of fatty food, which is the prime cause of
obesity
Use synonyms
. The second contributing factor is, the busy lifestyle which the current society lives
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is another reason for
this
Linking Words
 health condition. People travelling in vehicles, using escalators, and avoiding every task which needs physical exertion have made them lazy and unhealthy. In order to solve
this
Linking Words
 serious issue some measures can be taken.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a healthy diet is the best remedy for
obesity
Use synonyms
. Timely consumption of meals and ensuring that they are full of nutrition are required.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, exercise and sports help in burning excessive fat and help reduce weight. to recapitulate, unquestionably,
Obesity
Use synonyms
 has become a burning question of the day.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is time for us to live a healthy life for the sake of the next generation. A well-planned diet and plenty of
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 would give birth to a generation
that is
Linking Words
 fit, healthy and
above all
Linking Words
 happy.
Submitted by mannmunday9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: