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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent
#tourists #caribbean #island #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevent
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The line graph illustrates the figures of average tourists who visited Caribbean
Use synonyms
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
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 in the years between 2010 and 2017.
Initially
Linking Words
, before the year 2011, the Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 welcomed less than 1
million
Use synonyms
 in both tourist groups. After the relevant year, there is a significant increase in the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
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 who stay
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
island
Use synonyms
. So, it has reached 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 tourists in 2013.
However
Linking Words
, the other subject, visitors staying on cruise ships, tended to decline and
therefore
Linking Words
 it dipped
its
Change preposition
to its
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 lowest point. After the year 2012, cruise ship accommodation is rising sharply until 2017 and ultimately it has outstretched its highest point (approximately 2
million
Use synonyms
). Link to
this
Linking Words
 circumstance, the other residence type, staying on the
island
Use synonyms
, remained the same in the years between 2013 and 2015.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the stats tended to fall in 2016.
In addition
Linking Words
, between the years 2015 and 2016, those proportions came across. Roughly, just under 1.5
million
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 visitors preferred both vacation types equally.
To sum up
Linking Words
, those ratios have generally risen even if there is a bit of slowing in the time 2016. It extended its top point in 2017 (close to 3.5
million
Use synonyms
) .
Submitted by mstfizzet1 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words island, million with synonyms.
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