IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#water #resource #parts #world #demand #measure #governments #individuals
Lack of still
water
 became one of the greatest global issues in the past few years due the different reasons, but mostly due the overpopulation, even in developed
countries
. In
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 century number of the
people
 in the world rapidly increased, so
available
Correct article usage
the available
show examples
 resources of food, but especially
water
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not enough anymore.
Increase
Correct article usage
An increase
show examples
 in the global population leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher demands
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 different products, which requires
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
 of various
industries
 and productions that spend
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
water
 in production processes.
In addition
,
industries
, mostly those
connectes
Correct your spelling
connected
 with large corporations, are the greatest polluters across the world. They
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
massive
pollution
 of
Correct article usage
the enviroment
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 with all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of pollutants,
such
 as
microplastic
Correct your spelling
microplastics
show examples
, medicines and chemicals, that makes
water
 sources even more restricted.
Although
 large
corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the most responsible for huge
water
 wastage and
pollution
,
people
 do not pay enough attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 things that they can do to mitigate
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues in their households, so
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
show examples
for instance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 overuse plastic, use non
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
environmentally
 friendly cleaning products and do not recycle waste. Poor and developing
countries
 are suffering because of these issues for a long time, but recently even developed
countries
 started to feel the effects of
this
 problem, so governments should urgently take measures to prevent more damage.
For instance
, opening
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycling
show examples
 plants to reduce
pollution
 and obligating
industries
 to decrease
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of toxic
materias
Correct your spelling
materials
 by raising taxes on the products that are highly toxic would significantly contribute to preserving
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
water
 resources. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 positive examples in some
countries
 that managed to reduce
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of toxic gases from
industiries
Correct your spelling
industries
 that could be used as a model in these cases too.
Except
Change preposition
Besides
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, raising
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 among the
people
 would
enourage
Correct your spelling
encourage
 them to contribute as much as they can from their homes. In conclusion, lack of
water
 is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 global issue
due to
 the unresponsible consumption and
pollution
 that could be mitigated if governments
encourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
industries
 to reduce
pollution
 and raise
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 among
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 regarding
this
 issue.
Submitted by martinapesa11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: