Some People say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#people #music #culture #age

Some

people

believe that

music

is a good alternative to bringing crowds of distinguished

ages

and cultures under one roof. I believe the art of

music

is magical and I conquer that it has the power to unite different cultural

groups

and

ages

To begin

with,

Music

brings a beautiful feeling of belonging

also

most

people

around the world today, rarely love

music

for its lyrics but the rhythm.

Therefore

, you can find crowds dancing and singing to a song they barely understand simply because they are enjoying the beat

that is

why I support the belief that

music

can unite different

people

with different beliefs. How exactly can it achieve

this

? Where there is a beautiful instrumental sound or musical concert many

people

will gather so as to enjoy the

music

and

thus

uniting different

ages

and cultural

groups

for example

Most

people

are willing to travel long distances just to enjoy a good sense of

music

In addition

, a recent survey carried out by a Japanese research company, revealed that entertainment

such

Music

shows in comparison to movies is what brings most

people

together. The love of

music

around the world is unexplainable, many

people

are willing to spend huge amounts just to attend live

music

concerts of their favourite artists which promotes a lot of mingling among distinguished

groups

and individuals. In conclusion, I am in agreement with the opinion that the magical art of

music

has the ability to unite different cultural

groups

and

ages

Submitted by alicematomola on Thu Feb 23 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some People say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?