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Band 7.5

Many governments think that economy progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#governments #economy #progress #people #country
There is an issue of whether to prioritize economic growth or other kinds of progress as the main purpose is argumentative.
While
 there are different opinions about
this
 debate, I assume that other types of progress should have a crucial role rather than
economy
 On the one hand, finance plays a significant role in one country. The initial point that can be raised is that a booming
economy
 could improve the quality of the health system, resulting in promoting the welfare of all citizens. There is contributing factor is that a sustainable
economy
 could improve the standard of living of residents, leading to no homeless people or underprivileged individuals sleeping in the street. 
On the other hand
, I think that education should be prioritized rather than the
economy
.
Firstly
, children gaining knowledge and equip fully morality in school can be a quality citizen and productive worker.
In particular
, they can boost productivity and make more money, leading to paying more taxes to the government and contributing socioeconomy.
For instance
, employees who have a well-paid job may pay more tax than those who do not. The government can use it to increase the infrastructure and healthcare system.
Additionally
, youngsters who learn right from wrong in educational institutions are likely to follow the laws leading to reduce the crime rate.  In conclusion, I believe that other types of progress should be focused
instead
 of the
economy
. As for the original ideas, there a more benefits namely exposure to new cultures and deeper acknowledge of a country can be gained from the academic system.
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introduction conclusion
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your main points.
logical structure
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Transition words and phrases can help in creating a more coherent essay.
relevant examples
Further illustrate your points with relevant examples to provide more depth and support for your arguments.
task response
You offer a balanced discussion by considering both the importance of economic progress and other types of progress.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main ideas are clearly presented, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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