Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience

wle
Correct your spelling
We
are
iving
Correct your spelling
living
in the salad days of the millennium, where people have to
work
constantly,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a pace, to keep up with the technology and living cost. Some people assert that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees should not be allowed to
work
beyond
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement
age
. I completely agree with
this
hypothesis.
This
essay delves into the reasons for the statement. Primarily, after years of stress and unhealthy habits, every individual needs
time
to repair their plummeting mental and
physcal
Correct your spelling
physical
health
.
Retirement
age
is the
time
for improving mental and physical
health
, which
consequently
results in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
quality of
life
at later stages of
life
.
For instance
, in Japan, employees, after their
retirement
, tend to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
more
time
for exercises and healthy eating, which is stated as a reason for their higher
life-expectancy
Correct your spelling
life expectancy
show examples
.
Moreover
, retirees get more
time
to spend with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
and to connect with them.
This
family bonding
time
is pertinent to ameliorate the
health
and well-being of the whole family.
Secondly
,
retirement
ensures that there
is
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are
show examples
employment opportunities for
younger
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the younger
show examples
generation as well.
Increase
Correct article usage
An increase
show examples
in
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
rate is a cause for unrest and
surge
Correct article usage
a surge
show examples
in crime rates in
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
countries around the globe. It is best illustrated
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
hightened
Correct your spelling
heightened
crime rates in Zambia and Nigeria, where the
retirement
age
is past seventy.
Further
, the
umployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
employment
holocaust
make
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makes
show examples
a place not suitable for habitation.
Additionally
, the younger generation
have
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has
show examples
more innovative ideas compared to the greying population
due to
their higher exposure to information and technology.
This
is crucial for the survival of an organisation in a competitive and consumerist era. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that people should be restricted to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
beyond a certain
age
, as
this
allocate
Correct subject-verb agreement
allocates
show examples
better opportunities for
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
generation to
work
and settle for their
life
.
Further
,
retirement
provides better quality of
life
through improved physical and psychological
health
for the greying community.
Submitted by dtifaniya on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • pension systems
  • financial security
  • physical and mental health
  • youth unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • fresh perspectives
  • hobbies and interests
  • passionate workers
  • flexible retirement options
  • social security
  • recuperate
  • decades of hard work
  • contribute skills and experience
  • financial difficulties
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