A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?
Nowadays, watching
violence
Replace the word
violent
scene
Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
in
television and cinema has a great threat Change preposition
on
in
the behaviour of the youth in Change preposition
to
the
society. I agree with Correct article usage
apply
this
statement and government
should ban Correct article usage
the government
movies
that has
Change the verb form
have
an
Correct article usage
apply
extreme
violent content.
Change the word
extremely
To begin
with, cruel films that are shown to the public has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
a
possibility to infect Correct article usage
the
the
young minds. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, it affects their mental health and gives an
insight Correct article usage
apply
in
Change preposition
into
comitting
crimes. Apart from that, the habitual viewing of Correct your spelling
committing
this
brutal shows would result in Correct determiner usage
these
adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
the
Correct article usage
apply
agrressive
behaviour. Correct your spelling
aggressive
For instance
, binge watching
Add a hyphen
binge-watching
of
disturbing Change preposition
apply
movies
like "Salo" where wealthy people abused their power and abducted specifically 12 to 15 years old, exposed
them Wrong verb form
exposing
on
drugs and Change preposition
to
hopeless
but to follow their commands. I believe, Replace the word
hopelessness
government
should not allow Add an article
the government
this
type of movie
to be release
.
Without a doubt, Wrong verb form
released
government
has the full authority to prohibit Add an article
the government
this
type of movie
. Futhermore
, a stringent law should be enacted to warn Correct your spelling
Furthermore
film makers
Correct your spelling
film-makers
in
breaking Change preposition
about
this
rule. If this
regulation is strictly followed it would result in lesser crimes and could save the future of the young generations. For example
, the movie
and television and classification and regulation board is the government
agency responsible for the rating and films for the Philippines has
been an Correct word choice
and has
effecient
in Correct your spelling
efficient
their
envision for the Filipinos.
In conclusion, the amount of exposure to violent Correct pronoun usage
its
movies
has a tremendous effects
on how people misbehave. I believe Correct the article-noun agreement
a tremendous effect
tremendous effects
this
type of movies
gives youngsters the Fix the agreement mistake
movie
ideas
in doing Fix the agreement mistake
idea
mischievious
acts. Correct your spelling
mischievous
Government
could protect the welfare of Add an article
The government
the
youngsters by implementing a law Correct article usage
apply
in
prohibiting Change preposition
apply
this
kind of movie
.Submitted by namlaemy on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite