A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today.  Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

Nowadays, watching
violence
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violent
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scene
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scenes
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in
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on
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television and cinema has a great threat
in
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to
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the behaviour of the youth in
the
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apply
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society. I agree with
this
statement and
government
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the government
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should ban
movies
that
has
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have
show examples
an
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apply
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extreme
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extremely
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violent content.
To begin
with, cruel films that are shown to the public
has
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have
show examples
a
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the
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possibility to infect
the
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apply
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young minds.
Moreover
, it affects their mental health and gives
an
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apply
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insight
in
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into
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comitting
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committing
crimes. Apart from that, the habitual viewing of
this
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these
show examples
brutal shows would result in
adapting
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adopting
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the
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apply
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agrressive
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aggressive
behaviour.
For instance
,
binge watching
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binge-watching
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of
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apply
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disturbing
movies
like "Salo" where wealthy people abused their power and abducted specifically 12 to 15 years old,
exposed
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exposing
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them
on
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to
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drugs and
hopeless
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hopelessness
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but to follow their commands. I believe,
government
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the government
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should not allow
this
type of
movie
to be
release
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released
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. Without a doubt,
government
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the government
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has the full authority to prohibit
this
type of
movie
.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, a stringent law should be enacted to warn
film makers
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film-makers
show examples
in
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about
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breaking
this
rule. If
this
regulation is strictly followed it would result in lesser crimes and could save the future of the young generations.
For example
, the
movie
and television and classification and regulation board is the
government
agency responsible for the rating and films for the Philippines
has
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and has
show examples
been an
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
in
their
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its
show examples
envision for the Filipinos. In conclusion, the amount of exposure to violent
movies
has
a tremendous effects
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a tremendous effect
tremendous effects
show examples
on how people misbehave. I believe
this
type of
movies
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movie
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gives youngsters the
ideas
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idea
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in doing
mischievious
Correct your spelling
mischievous
acts.
Government
Add an article
The government
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could protect the welfare of
the
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apply
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youngsters by implementing a law
in
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apply
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prohibiting
this
kind of
movie
.
Submitted by namlaemy on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitization
  • crucial stage
  • moral and ethical understandings
  • external factors
  • profound impact
  • reflection
  • mitigate
  • stricter regulations
  • depiction
  • empathy
  • conflict resolution
  • collaboration
  • conscious
  • impact
  • promoting
  • culture of peace
  • non-violence
  • public awareness campaigns
  • community programs
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