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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and comparisons where relevant.
#bar #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #information #features #comparisons
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The number of
people
 who have habits involved
coffee
 and tea in five different cities in Australia named
Sydney
,
Melbourne
,
Brisban
,
Adelaide
, and
Hobart
 is depicted in the given bar chart, the figure being mentioned in percentage.
Overall
, it can be seen that the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 who went to a cafe in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks was the highest,
while
 those who bought fresh
coffee
 experienced the lowest percentage.
Moreover
, another critical point is that in
Adelaide
 the sum
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 who bought instant
coffee
 was higher than those who went to cafes and bought fresh
coffee
. Among five cities, the proportion of citizens of
Melbourne
 and
Hobart
 who went to a cafe for
coffee
 or tea was highest, accounting for approximately 63% in both cities. Followed by those living in
Sydney
,
Brisban
, and
Adelaide
, with roughly 61%, 55%, and 39%, respectively.
Next,
the percentage of habitats in
Hobart
,
Brisban
, and
Adelaide
 who bought instant
coffee
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks was more than 50%.
By contrast
, those in
Sydney
 and
Melbourne
 were less than 50%.
Finally
, more than 40% of
people
 staying in
Sydney
 and
Melbourne
, and less than 40% of those in
Brisban
,
Adelaide
 and
Hobart
 bought fresh
coffee
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
Submitted by mandupao on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, sydney, melbourne, brisban, adelaide, hobart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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